Rendered Weak
by Darkmoonphase
Summary: When Deidara moves and meets Sasori, everything in his life suddenly feels repetitive. And then he gets the same idea that Sasori's forced to consider. As memories suddenly resurface, Deidara must face them to save himself...and his friends - new and old.
1. 1: Deidara

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**Deidara**

I walked down the now empty halls of my new school; looking around for my first class. Naturally, I took my time finding said classroom. Really, I couldn't care less if I was late or not, because I didn't want to be here in the first place. I would have much rather been back in Iwa with my friends and gang members. But my parents didn't care. They wanted me to come to Suna with them when they found better jobs. And I wasn't really liking it here.

Reaching my first class, I scowled at the door before I put on a bored expression and slid open the door. I glanced around the room as I walked to the teacher's desk. This year wasn't going to be fun.

"New here?" The teacher asked, looking up at me.

_No shit, Sherlock. _"Yeah," I answered in a bored tone.

"Alright, let's see…You can sit back there, next to Sasori – the kid with the red hair." He paused and I raised an eyebrow. "Ah…What's your name?"

I sighed and muttered, "Deidara."

"Right." He marked me down on a piece of paper. "Take your seat."

I nodded and shuffled to my seat. So now I knew that this teacher was a complete moron and I could probably get away with a lot of crap in this class. Fun.

"Hey," Sasori whispered. I looked at him and he smiled at me.

"Yeah," I muttered, resting my chin on my hand and propping my elbow on the desk. And it started. The kid just started talking. I don't even know what he was talking _about._ But he was talking; going on and on about who-knows-what. I was guessing Sasori was trying to start a conversation, but I just didn't care. So I muttered a "yeah" or an "uh-huh" every once in awhile.

Eventually he gave up and looked at the front of the room. _Finally,_ I thought.

* * *

Sasori tried to talk to me in second period and then again in third. Getting the same results each time. By lunch, he didn't even try. But I did.

Right before lunch, I looked at Sasori and asked, "Hey, Sasori?"

"Hm?" He glanced at me.

"Are there cliques in this school, yeah?" I could tell by the look on his face that he was surprised I was talking to him and then he couldn't figure out why I was asking him that.

"Yeah. There are the four main groups that matter the most: preps, nerds, geeks, and the 'scary people'. Then there are the minor: emos, Goths, punks, and general outcasts. If you're stuck in the major, people will recognize you – in good and bad ways. But if you're in the minor, then most likely people will leave you alone," Sasori explained.

I was surprised that the emos, punks, and Goths all got their own classification. When Sasori had said "scary people", I had assumed he had meant those three groups. But since they all had different categories, I wondered what he meant by "scary people."

"'Kay, thanks, yeah." I turned away from him and walked into the lunch room. I immediately knew what he was talking about with the cliques when I stepped in.

The front two tables were occupied by the preps. Then behind one were the nerds and on the other side, the geeks; behind the nerds were the "scary people". The table behind the geeks was empty; but behind that were the emos. Behind the "scary people" wee the Goths and behind them the punks; and at the last table, were the outcasts.

_Well, CRAP! _I thought, looking around. I didn't really drop into any of the groups. This was weird, because I didn't think there was a "super-outcasts" group at all.

Guess I'd just have to make one. I walked over to the only empty table and claimed it – even though I was sure no one would come over here because they avoided this table for a reason. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a bottle cap. I flipped it around on the table for a few minutes before I started spinning it. I was vaguely aware of people staring at me, but since it was more than one person, I ignored it.

I sat there as long as I could manage and then stood up and tried to leave. Almost on the third – and final – step when someone asked, "Yo, girl. Why aren't you in a girl's uniform?"

I spun around. "I'm not a girl, yeah." Idiots.

"Sure look like one." The boy shrugged. And I lost it. Forgetting the promise I had made to my mom this morning – "I promise I won't beat anybody up over my gender" – I threw myself at the retard. I'd gotten crap about being a girl so much last year; I didn't want it this year. Thanks to Sasori, my patience had already been running low and this boy asked the wrong thing.

I heard some teacher yelling at me to stop. So I did. I looked down at the bloody pulp that used to be a face. _Ah shit. _I brought my head up and scowled at everyone who was staring at me – which happened to be everyone in the lunchroom. The damn teacher from my first class was running over to me. Okay, looks like I wouldn't be getting away with as much as I though I would be with him.

It only took a few seconds after I stood up fro kids to start muttering. And I was whisked away to the principal's office.

"Why'd you do that?" The teacher asked as we walked down the halls.

"He called me a girl, yeah," I cried.

"Oh great. No another one," The teacher mumbled.

"_Another one"? _I thought. Were there other people here who had issues with mistaken genders?

When we reached the office, I was told to wait outside for a minute while the teacher went in. I did. It didn't' take long before I heard the principal scream, "Not _another_one!" There it was again. What're they talking about?

The teacher ushered me in and sat me down in front of the principal.

_Wonderful.  
_


	2. 2: Sasori

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **

**Sasori**

_Well. That was interesting, _I thought, looking back down at the table.

"That's not good," Kisame whispered from across the table. Naturally, he was right. I knew Leader wouldn't let that slide, even if it was Deidara's first day. He'd ask someone to bead him into place. I was sure Deidara would be able to take Kisame or Kakuzu, but if he got anybody else…He'd be mysteriously out of school for the next two weeks. Zetsu, Hidan, and Itachi just had too much fun beating up on people.

But what if I got him? It wouldn't be so bad. I'd make it more like a warning.

"Sasori!" Zetsu hissed, and I blinked my way back to reality. I glanced at him and he was tilting his head to the side. Whoops. I'd missed something that Leader had said to me. I looked at him expectantly.

"I said, since you're in most of his classes, would you be so kind as to put him into place?" Leaser asked irritably. He was talking about Deidara.

"Yes, sir." I couldn't believe my luck! It was awesome. Wait. Why did I care if Deidara got beat up or not? I didn't like him…Did I? No way. It's just a crush. And crushes are based off of looks and don't last very long. So whatever attraction I have for Deidara will pass – even if I have to make it go away.

I quietly stood up and left the lunchroom. When I got out into the hall, I hesitated. I wasn't sure where I wanted to spend the last five minutes of lunch. I looked down the hall and saw Deidara coming toward me. Well, okay.

"What happened?" I asked innocently when he was a bit more in earshot.

Deidara shot me a glare and said, "I'm pretty sure you saw the show, yeah. You know."

"No," I said impatiently. "What happened in the principal's office?"

"Oh." Deidara dropped his head. "Just a warning, yeah. I'm supposed to get my temper under control."

He'd have more to worry about than just the principal if he pulled something like that again. I leaned against the wall, folded my arms and put one foot on the wall. "Not good with that though, am I right?"

"It's not my fault people think I'm a girl. If they don't take my word that I'm a guy, then I have to show them, yeah. No offence to girls, but they don't fight well," Deidara said.

When I heard the last line, I immediately thought of Konan and how she'd prove him wrong. But I did get his point. I shook my head in disbelief. "You bead him up because he called you a girl?"

Deidara sighed. "Why'd I think you'd understand, yeah?" He muttered. "Never mind. 'Sides, what do you care, yeah?"

_Good question. I'm working on that._ I blinked. "Just wondering. Jeez."

"Well stop wondering, yeah!" Deidara snapped. "Mind your own business."

_You are my business now, Brat. _I thought. "Whatever."

Then I got an idea. I was supposed to put Deidara into place, no one told me how. This way would be way more fun. And it would leave him crippled.

The bell rang and Deidara walked off. I watched him go with a smirk on my face, before I turned and went the opposite way.

_Fun, Fun._

_**I did these two chapters so I could start the story, so you kinda get an idea of what this story's about. It'll be switching POV's and the chapter's name will be who's talking. If you've read, please review. Tell me what you think?**  
_


	3. 3: Deidara

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

**Deidara**

Sasori was a freak. And way annoying. It was my first day here and he was already snooping around in my business. With him hovering over my shoulder, I'd get in way more trouble that needed. I had a low patience level and a very short temper; Sasori was not on my "top ten people I wanted to be friends with" list. He was more on the "top twenty people I should avoid so I don't get in trouble" list. But something told me he wasn't going to go away if I just snapped my fingers. I'd have to be more creative in shaking him off. I didn't need another shadow, thanks anyway.

My ex-boyfriend had peeled me off of him easily. When I told him I was moving to this hellhole, he'd seemed unfazed. But then he'd smiled and told me he was glad I was leaving. That I had been just another game to play. Of course, even though I had been the one to flirt with him first, he had been the one who used _me._ I was an expert at flirting…since I had been flirting my way to information when I was in _his_ gang. He had been way too easy to get with though, and I should've caught it. Thought about it first. But I hadn't. And he laughed in my face at the end.

Hey. Whatever works, I guess. And I needed Sasori off my back. I never even noticed how close my plan was to Master's.

_I'll just pick him up and then dump him. I doubt he'll come back after that._

* * *

(last period) 

_Art. Why is it last period, for god's sake? Sad._

I glanced around and saw Sasori. _Alright…_I walked over to him and sat down in the seat next to him. I didn't want to start my plan yet. I liked art too much to ignore it.

The teacher announced free art and I grinned. I reached into my backpack and pulled out my bag of handmade clay.

"You like art?" Sasori asked quietly. I glanced up at him and noted that he was watching me work, and then looked back at my clay. "Yeah. I do," I muttered. "You?"

"I _love _it," Sasori whispered.

I paused and looked up at him again, a bit surprised. I was too busy with the thought that maybe I'd found someone who liked art as much as me, to realize he was whispering. "Hm," I muttered. "We'll see." I returned to my work, starting to wonder what the odds were that he had the same definition of art as me.

After a few minutes, I heard some clinking noises and looked at Sasori again irritably. My jaw dropped when he pulled out a bunch of wood that was starting to look like…erm…something, and string.

"What's that, yeah?" I asked, staring at the crumpled pile of something.

Sasori looked up at me with a kind of surprised look. "Art."

I scoffed. "No it's not, yeah."

His expression changed to infuriated. "Oh? And that pile of play dough is?"

"It's clay. And not yet, yeah," I retorted.

"What're you talking about, Brat?" Sasori sighed.

"It hasn't been smashed yet, yeah," I explained.

Sasori blinked a few times. "What?"

"Fleeting. Art is fleeting, yeah. So this isn't art yet."

"That's retarded."

_You're retarded! _So much for fellow artist. "So what…exactly…" I looked pointedly at the pile of wood. "…Is art to you, yeah?"

"Everlasting."

I blinked twice. "You mean, to keep it, yeah?"  
"That's what everlasting means – forever lasting."

"Now _that's_ retarded, yeah."

"No. Why work on something if you're just going to wreck it? It's pointless and not art."

"You know nothing then, yeah."

"I know that you're being retarded."

"Whatever. What exactly are you making, yeah? And don't say art," I gestured at his pile of wood.

"A puppet," He answered simply.

"A puppet, yeah?" I asked, feeling really stupid.

"Yeah. You've seen one, haven't you?" He looked surprised when I shook my head. "Hang on. I think I have a finished one." Sasori dug through his backpack for a minute. When he sat up in his seat again, he dangled a miniature wooded doll in front of my face. The thing had a face and a painted on blue t-shirt, gray pangs and no shoes. Its hair was brown and messy. It took me a second to realize that the hair looked freakishly real.

"Is that real hair, yeah?" I asked in an accusing tone.

"Sort of. It's like the hair you get off of Barbie dolls," Sasori answered, chuckling.

I grabbed the puppet out of Sasori's hand and examined it. He made a face, but didn't try to take it back.

Its mouth wasn't fully connected. It looked something like a nutcracker's mouth. I slid my fingers down the strings and found five loops at the end. I slipped my fingers into them and clumsily moved my fingers a little. I almost fell out of my chair flipping out when the puppet started moving according to how I moved my fingers.

My mini-freak-out must have shown on my face, because Sasori started laughing at me. I scowled and moved my fingers with a little more confidence.

"Can I please keep this one, yeah?" I asked Sasori after a few more minutes.

He hesitated before he smiled weakly. "Sure, I've got others."  
I grinned. "Thanks!" Then I made my face mock serious. "But I still won't call this thing real art, you know, yeah."

Sasori smirked. "Okay."

I played around with the puppet a little more, then set it down – out of Sasori's reach – and started sculpting again.

"And I still won't say that your 'smashing art' is _true_ art," Sasori said quietly.

I smiled. "I get it, yeah."

_'Kay. He gets a few points right now. But I'll steal them back._

* * *

_**3 Months Later**_

I guess after that, Sasori and I became as close to being friends as we were going to get. Although, at lunch we never sat at the same table. The way Sasori's friends looked at me, told me I wasn't welcome. But that was alright. The less I had to do with them, the better. Then I wouldn't have anyone out to get me.

Everything was going well enough. But everything has to fall a little sometime…right?

* * *

We were outside the lunchroom when Sasori stopped me. 

"Hey, Deidara? Do you want to come and sit at my table today?" He asked quietly.

I felt my face loose its happy façade and fall into its emotionless expression. "No," I said coldly. At his surprised face, I quickly smiled warmly. "I'm not good with large groups of people, yeah." Lie. "'Sides, I don't think your friends like me much, yeah. Let's keep you on their good sides, 'kay?" Truthful enough.

"Okay." Sasori smiled weakly.

I smirked, leaned down and kissed his cheek. "See you after lunch, yeah," I whispered in his ear. Then I stood up straight and walked to my empty table. Once I was sitting down, I watched Sasori go to his table. The first thing he got was a slap upside the head by his green-haired neighbor. Everyone at the table seemed to be trying to talk to Sasori at once.

"Hi Deidara-senpai!"

_What the fuck?! It's not…_ I turned around and saw a very obnoxious orange mask in my face. _SHIT!_

"What're you doing here, yeah?!" I hissed, standing up.

"Tobi got transferred," He said in a rather loud voice.

I stared uncomprehendingly at him and asked, "What?"

"Tobi got a transfer from your old school to here. It was too boring there without you," Tobi said a bit softer.

"Really?" I perked up at this thought.

"Yeah. The whole school was all _blah blah blah _when you left," Tobi said, moving his hands like mouths when he said the "blahs".

"Cool. What about _him_, yeah?" I narrowed my eye suspiciously.

"Oh…Um…" Tobi turned his head a little. "He was trying to find your replacement when Tobi left. He never really said anything about you and Tobi thinks he's started going out with someone else now."

"Bastard!" I cursed. Mentally shaking my head, I looked back up at Tobi. "Are you staying here permanently then, yeah?"

"Yep! Unless they choose to transfer Tobi again. But he hopes they won't. Because now Tobi's with Deidara-senpai again!" Tobi threw his arms around my neck in one of his signature bear hugs, almost knocking me over.

"Get off my, Tobi, yeah!" I cried, trying to push him away. _I don't think he was this strong when I left. God dammit! _

"Sorry," Tobi said as he let go. And then I did fall over. I lost my balance and fell backwards. "Deidara-senpai?" Tobi asked softly. So I flipped him off.

Once I was on my feet again – and realized people were staring – I grabbed Tobi's wrist and dragged him out of the lunchroom.

"Where are you taking Tobi, Deidara-senpai?" Tobi asked after awhile.

"Away from people, yeah," I answered teasingly.

"No!_ Really!_" Tobi whined.

I sighed irritably. "The library, yeah."

"So you were serious…" Tobi's voice sounded like he was faking detective or something along those lines.

When we were in the library and sitting down, I made him hand over his schedule.

"And…?" Tobi prompted expectantly. "How many classes does Tobi have with Deidara-senpai?"

I groaned. "All but three, yeah." He was smart enough that I could put up with him, but dumb enough that I felt like I had to keep and eye on him or he might die somehow. Three classes without him would be like the two classes without Sasori – heaven.

"Sad," Tobi muttered, then perked up some. "But that means Tobi'll have time to make other friends here!"

I smiled. "Yeah, you're right!" My horrid day had just gotten a little better. The bell rang and I groaned again.

"C'mon, Deidara-senpai! Do you have this class with Tobi?" Tobi jumped out of his seat and slung his backpack onto his shoulders.

"Would I have groaned if I didn't, yeah?" I asked, standing up and putting my own backpack on.

"YAY!" Tobi cried.

_He's the only person I know who's excited for school._

* * *

_**I hope this is long enough. Pasts and relationships will be further explained in later chapters, so if you can refrain from asking about those, please do.**_

_**And, I looked up what Tobi calls Deidara, but I'm still not sure if I spelled it right. Is it "senpi" or "senpai"? If anyone knows, please tell me so I don't look like a complete moron. Thanks. **_

_**Please review. **_


	4. 4: Sasori

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

**Sasori**

After the orange-masked kid and Deidara had left, everyone at my table started whispering.

"He'd make it!"

"I think he'd be fun to have around."

"He sounds like a headache."

"I dunno, Hidan, he seems too hyperactive to make it."

"We're recruiting him." Everyone looked at Leader. "He looks just dumb enough that he'll fall for practically anything we throw at him. But just smart enough that he'll listen and act."

I blinked. Leader had always been good at analyzing people – as long as I had known him anyway. But could he be overanalyzing that kid? Orange-Masked Wonder looked too…_nothing_ to be one of us. But maybe I was underestimating him? Maybe I just hated the kid already because he seemed so close to Deidara.

I inwardly cursed myself. Deidara…My crush – I think – had developed into something more. This definitely was a bad thing…especially when I was supposed to hurt him in the end. I didn't want to be the one who got hurt if Leader decided to take things into his own hands.

Pushing that out of my mind, I wondered if Orange-Masked Wonder _would_be good for our group. And he and Deidara seemed to get along so very well…

Hey. Maybe I could get a head start on this crushing stuff. I'd get Zetsu to get Orange-Masked Wonder to come into our group. If I'm right, it'll at leas bug Deidara. Piss him off even…

I was suddenly wondering what exactly I was planning. Three months ago, I was certain – I knew exactly what I was doing. But then these damn emotions got in the way and suddenly…I was confused. The only thing I was sure of was that I was trying to hurt Deidara under Leader's order. I forgot how though.

Okay…Well, maybe I should leave him then. I was starting to get a suspicion that Leader knew I was confused…So I could safely come to the conclusion that I would be in massive trouble if I didn't do something about these stupid emotions.

The bell rang and I got up, smiling insanely. This class would be…well,_interesting._

"You look pretty crazed. Are you okay, Sasori?" Zetsu asked me in a low voice.

"Yeah, fine. What would you say to escorting someone to someplace soon?" I asked in the same low voice.

Zetsu grinned wickedly. "I'd say, who, exactly?"

"A certain orange-masked brat that Leader wants," I replied acidly.

"Then, sure," Zetsu looked at me strangely after that. "What about Deidara? How's your plan going?"

I hesitated. Zetsu and I were best friends; we'd always been completely honest with each other. But could I really trust him with this? Especially since he or Kakuzu (I wasn't quite sure which) were keeping tabs on me? "Okay…I guess."

"You guess? What's going on?" Zetsu sounded sincerely concerned.

"I dunno. Maybe this way was wrong." I sighed and looked up at my semi-insane friend.

"Are you getting attached?" He teased suspiciously.

"Kinda…" I felt myself blush and cursed under my breath. To my surprise, Zetsu laughed. "What's so funny?!" I barked.

"Your taste in guys," He joked. "Really, the fact that you've come full circle on this one. And because of how it turned out last time, I can confidently say, it'll be alright. I won't tell Leader either." He smiled at me.

The blush faded some, and then came back when I realized what Zetsu was talking about. I ducked my head and said, "Thanks. Mostly for not telling Leader though." I looked back up at him and smiled back. Looking at where we had ended up, I said "bye" to him and walked into my classroom. Picking out Deidara and his friend, I walked over to them and purposefully stood in front of Deidara's desk.

Orange-Masked Wonder poked him and Deidara looked up. "Oh. Hey Master 'Sori!" He said enthusiastically. He'd started calling me "master" when I had taught him how to _actually_use a puppet. "'Sori", however, was new.

"Hn." I shot a glance at Orange-Masked Wonder and back at Deidara expectantly.

"Right," He muttered. "This is my friend, Tobi, yeah." Points for me; I was right! "And, Tobi? This is the friend I made here, Master Sasori, yeah."

"Hi," Tobi said in a voice that was quieter than it had been earlier.

I took a sat next to Tobi and said, "Hey. So, how long have you and Deidara been friends?"

"Oh, a long time. Since kindergarten…Tobi thinks. But that's about as far back as Tobi can remember, so, yeah," Tobi said, shrugging.

I felt my lower eyelid twitch in annoyance. Why did he talk in third person? Who could naturally have such an annoying voice? "Uh-huh. I'll admit, that is a long time."

Tobi tilted his head and looked at me. "Why do you like Deidara-senpai so much?" He asked quietly.

"In what sense?" I asked, taking a risk and hoping he meant as friends.

Something made me imagine Tobi making a face under his mask when he said, "More than friends, sense."

I shrugged. "He's cool…and cute." What he knows won't matter much in the end. "Why? Do you like him like that?"

"N-No!" Tobi hit his mask about where his forehead should be. "Tobi's Deidara-senpai's best friend. Tobi wants to make sure that the guy's Deidara-senpai's interested in aren't serial killers or rapists."

I blinked a few times. Well, he had high expectations. "I don't think I'm either of those. So don't worry about that." I smiled warmly at him. I swear, in these three months, I had smiled more than I had since I was _two._"Say, Tobi?"

"Huh?" H e had turned to his notebook, but looked back up when I said his name.

"Would you like to meet one of my friends after class?" I asked, choosing my words carefully.

"That depends…" Tobi said slowly.

"On what?" I asked through gritted teeth. I was just about ready to yell at him because he was so damn annoying!

"Is your friend nice?" I imagined Tobi smiling under his mask and scowled thinking: _That's all?!_

I hesitated though. Truth or lie? He was going to meet him, so truth. "His good side is."

Tobi stared at me. _Blink, blink. Ha-ha…_ "Good side?"

"Yeah. He's got a good side and a dark side. White and black. Don't piss him off, and he's awesome," I explained, smiling reassuringly all the while.

Tobi stared at me quietly for a minute. I could see his face looking dumbstruck in my head and inwardly laughed. After he was done staring, he looked down at his notebook again and started idly doodling. "Okay."

_Really? That was…relatively…easy. _I smirked before turning to my own notebook. But pretty much just to stare at it.

_I wonder what Tobi will think when he meets Zetsu._

* * *

_**Yay! Another update. This one was hard! Mostly because I really did forget what Sasori was doing. Hehe...Oh, and I'm going to post another SasoDei story soon and it'll be called: "Dear Diary." (Because every chapter will be told as a diary entry!) So, if you're interested, keep an eye on my profile. Thanks! Please review! **_


	5. 5: Tobi

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

**Tobi**

"Hey, Deidara-senpai? It's okay for Tobi to go with Sasori-san to meet one of his friends, right?" I asked my blond friend, turning to him when the bell rang.

Deidara was faced away from me, putting his stuff into his backpack. When I asked my question, he stiffened, but said, "Sure. Why not, yeah?"

I wondered why Deidara had seemed so tense. He was friends with Sasori; didn't' he like his friends? I mentally shrugged and turned back to Sasori with a smile on my masked face. "'Kay. Deidara-senpai says it's okay. Tobi's ready." I grinned when I caught a flash of annoyance cross Sasori's face. I could be serious when I wanted to, but it was way too much fun annoying people.

"Alright. Follow me. We might be able to catch him," Sasori said as he pushed himself out of his seat and started walking out of the room. I followed him diligently; a quality I was known for – and one that also bugged Deidara to no end.

I still had no idea where each hall led to. It was all twisty and turny to me. But it was easier when I had someone to follow. We stopped by a classroom that I recognized by number: it was on my schedule. Kids were flowing in and out of the room looking ultimately bored. Seconds ticked by and I watched in amusement as Sasori grew more and more impatient.

"He knows I don't like waiting. And since when is he ever _not_ early?!" Sasori muttered impatiently.

_Tobi is enjoying this! Sasori-san can't stand waiting. Tobi will remember that… _I looked from the redhead to another kid when someone stepped in front of us. This one was much more interesting. He had messy green hair and piercing yellow eyes. One side of him was painted black and the other white. _So…Sasori-san was speaking in literal terms…? _The boy smiled at me briefly before turning to Sasori. His smile left me with chills.

"Who's this?" The boy asked.

"Tobi," Sasori answered simply. I snickered at the redhead's weakness – even after the person shows up, he's still agitated.

Smiling, the colorful boy turned back to me. "Hello. I'm Zetsu." Once again, chills.

To make my voice sound happy and thrilled, I smiled under my mask. "Hi! Are you in this class?"

Zetsu's black-side's eye twitched and I grinned. "Yes. Are you?" He asked pleasantly.

I blinked a few times. _Whoa! Upgrade! He just went from freaking Tobi out, to…well, not. _"Yes. Tobi is."

"Well, it'd be hard to fulfill the teacher's expectations on your first day when you don't know where you're going or what you're doing. So, if you need it, I can help you," Zetsu said, sounding pleased.

I figured the side I was talking to was the white side, so Sasori had been right. His white side was nice. I felt a blush creeping up on me and mentally thanked myself for wearing this mask. Ah, the things it can hide! "Thank-you, Zetsu-san. Maybe you can help Tobi catch up on what's going on in this class?"

Zetsu nodded. "Sure. Later, Sasori." He glanced at the boy next to me.

"Bye," Sasori said, sounding rather happy, and walked off. Zetsu walked into the classroom and I followed.

_Is Tobi the only one who isn't part of a web of lies and confusion?_

* * *

_ **Okay...I didn't realize how short his would be. I do have to point something out. I didn't write his entirely in third person because then it wouldn't really look like it was in his point of view. But his thoughts are in third person because, well, figure it out yourself! I don't feel like explaining it right now. **_

_**Please review.**  
_


	6. 6: Deidara

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

**Deidara**

_Okay, I don't get this. I am so freaking confused! _I looked up at Tobi, who was working hard on his math homework. _He's probably almost done!! So not fair. Um… _Looking down at the problems again made a slight head-ache pound softly above my right eye. I hated math. Tobi was so good at it and I sucked. It didn't even make sense to me! Square roots and all that crap I didn't understand seemed so pointless when I looked at the career that I wanted. When am I ever going to need math when I'm blowing stuff up?

I sighed and looked back up at Tobi enviously. He gets off so easy with that awesome math powered brain of his.

"Having trouble with your math homework, Deidara-senpai?" Tobi asked quietly, not bothering to look up from his paper.

I growled and muttered, "It doesn't make sense, Tobi, yeah."

Tobi looked up at me and laughed. He just loved doing stuff like that; looking up for express purposes like laughing. "It makes perfect sense, Deidara-senpai! You're just making it harder than it really is. Look, just…" The rest sounded like. "Blah blah blah blah blah. And something about dividing and then adding that answer and then multiplying that and then blah blah blah."

I blinked a few times and Tobi sighed. "Does Tobi have to get out the M&M's?" He asked. I think he was trying to mock me, but I took him seriously.

"Yes, please."

* * *

About two and half hours later, Tobi and I had our homework done. And we were currently watching TV in my living room. I couldn't help it when I twitched every time Tobi looked at me. He didn't know I knew. But I did, and it was very annoying. Finally, I turned my head and glared at him.

"Is something wrong, Deidara-senpai?" Tobi asked all too innocently.

"Yeah. You keep staring at me. What the hell do you want, yeah?!" I cried angrily.

Tobi stared at me for a minute and then bluntly asked, "Do you hate Sasori-san's friends for some reason?"

I stared back. Really, I couldn't come up with an answer. Nonetheless a reason that fit as to why Tobi wanted to know that. _I swear something like this came up on my first day at school. Well, not the friends thing, but the weird look I KNOW I'm giving Tobi right now. _I looked back at the TV and started channel-surfing because I forgot I had a guide. "No. I just don't know them. I don't think they like me much anyways."

"Have you tried to talk to them?" Tobi asked, making me feel like I was being interrogated.

"No," I answered acidly.

Tobi was quiet for a minute, his gaze elsewhere. "What are you doing?"

"Flipping through channels, yeah." Tobi reminded me of the task at hand and I realized I didn't know what the hell was on.

"No. What are you doing with Sasori-san?" Tobi asked impatiently.

"I don't know what you're talking about, yeah," I said uneasily, working hard to keep my attention on the TV.

"Sasori-san really likes you," Tobi said quietly and I stopped flipping, landing on some American soap-opera or something like that.

"What?" I turned to look at him in horror. _I should be ecstatic! It's working…Just what I wanted. Goddammit! Why am I not?!_

"Sasori-san really likes you," Tobi repeated, returning the stare. "He told Tobi himself. He said you were cool and cute. That's what you want, right? You want him to go head-over-heals for you, right?"

"Tobi, it's not like that, yeah…" I said hesitantly, aware of where his thoughts were taking him. I didn't want to hear that tonight.

Tobi looked back at the TV. "It's just like that, Deidara-senpai. Tobi can't believe it! You're acting just like--"

I cut him off by throwing the remote onto the ground and yelling, "IT'S NOT LIKE THAT, YEAH!!!" Then I stormed off to my room. _Tobi needs to just mind his own business!_

* * *

The next morning, it took all I had to get out of bed and get dressed. I didn't want to face Tobi, really not wanting to see Sasori.

Tobi had left about 5 minutes after I went to my room. When I had gone out, the TV was off. I felt kind of guilty for yelling at Tobi like I had, but he brought up a touchy subject. What did he expect?

Once I was dressed and had breakfast, I shuffled out of my house and out to the street. I shoved my hands into my pockets and stared at the sidewalk as I slowly walked to the school. It kind of reminded me of my first day of school – going so slow and sulky-like. I wasn't happy now. I'd hurt my best friend last night and my mind was threatening to explode with thoughts I couldn't banish.

I had been walking the same route for three and a half months now, so I didn't have to look to know where I was going. However, I practically had a heart attack when I heard the bell ring and looked up to see I was in front of the back entrance to the school. And then almost had a stroke when I heard, "Hey, Deidara!"

I turned guiltily around to face Sasori. "Hey, Master Sasori. What's up?"

He was a few feet away from me when he stopped and looked at me oddly. "You look worried or something. Is something wrong, Deidara?"

"No," I said quickly, smiling brightly and finally clearing my head of the annoying thoughts. "What time is it? I don't have a watch, yeah."

Sasori was easily distracted. He pulled his jacket sleeve up and looked at his watch. "Seven. We're going to be late in a minute. Let's go."

I grinned, walked over to him, grabbed his hand, and dragged him into the school, crying, "You're right, Master Sasori! Hurry!! We don't want to be late, yeah!" I heard him gasp in surprise and suppressed a laugh. I could fluster Sasori!!

* * *

Math sucked. More than usual because Sasori found out how bad I was in math. We were partnered for some project and he laughed at me when he gave me an "easy" problem to do and I couldn't figure it out.

"C'mon! It's not _that _hard! I already know the answer!" Sasori mocked, trying not to laugh.

I scowled at him and growled, "It's hard, yeah!" I looked down at the paper we were working on and moaned as the numbers swam in my head, making no connection whatsoever.

"Oh, whatever. Look…" For the second time in two days, I heard, "Blah blah blah blah and divide and multiply and subtract and blah blah blah." This was not fun. And this time, I wouldn't be humiliated into asking for the M&M's explination. I just had to concentrate really hard and find a way to remember all this. I was hoping that Sasori would explain it in a way that I might be able to understand.

"You don't get it?" Sasori looked at me with concern when he saw my blank expression.

"No," I grumbled, hitting my head on the desk painfully. I heard Sasori chuckle under his breath and I growled again. Why did he keep laughing at me?! This wasn't funny! It sucked.

* * *

Sasori walked out laughing and I came out after him scowling. "It's so not funny!" I cried, making him laugh harder.

"Hey, Sasori-san, Deidara-senpai!" Tobi called, running up to us. "Sasori-san? Zetsu-san wanted Tobi to tell you that 'Leader' wants to see you."

Sasori slowly stopped laughing, gasping stuff about how his sides hurt. When he had himself collected, he looked at Tobi and nodded. "Thanks." He looked at me and grinned. "I got to go. I'll see you later!"

"Yeah, bye, Master 'Sori," I mumbled, smiling slightly. This day had no intention of getting any better.

"Tobi wonders who 'Leader' is. Weird, huh, Deidara-senpai?" Tobi asked, watching Sasori run down the hall at an incredibly fast pace considering all the kids that crowded the limited space.

"I don't really care, yeah," I muttered and started walking toward the lunchroom.

"Can Tobi sit with you today, Deidara-senpai?" Tobi asked, skipping to catch up to me.

"That depends, yeah," I said quietly, looking up at Tobi out of the corner of my good eye.

"On what?" Tobi questioned curiously.

"Are you going to bring up _that _again, yeah?" I inquired stubbornly.

Tobi sighed and looked ahead of us. "No. Tobi won't. Promise, too."

I directed my gaze back to the swarm of students in front of me and smiled. "Then alright. I could use the company anyway, yeah."

"Yay for company!" Tobi cried, throwing his arms into the air playfully.

"Woo-hoo!" I mumbled tonelessly. Smirking now, we made our way into the lunchroom.

_Crap.  
_

_**I finally have a cliffhanger! I wonder how I'll pull it off in Sasori's point of view...I'll figure it out. Well, I hope I did okay on this chapter, hope it's long enough. Please review!**_


	7. 7: Sasori

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

**Sasori**

I looked up when Deidara and Tobi came in. My friends and I were all standing off to the side of the lunchroom, talking about our rival gang. Apparently, Kakuzu had seen someone out of place and immediately associated her with the gang. I was reluctant to think that; it could just be a new student. But the look on Deidara's face as he came into the lunchroom, said something really wasn't right.

I glanced around the cafeteria, but didn't see anything _that_ abnormal. 

"What's got Blondie so freaked?" Hidan asked, sounding aggravated.

"I don't know…" I murmured, focusing on Deidara's lips to see if I could read them.

"_Why the hell is she here, yeah?" _He was asking Tobi. Tobi said something and it made Deidara even angrier. _"You sure she wasn't following you? I don't want her to bug me if she notices I'm here, yeah." _

Deidara turned his head and I couldn't see his lips anymore. I growled lightly. _Not even a name! _I turned back to my friends and told them what I'd read. 

Konan sighed and muttered, "That doesn't help much. But, it does say she's not welcome." Turning to me, she added, "_Not_ a new student."

I turned my head to the side a little in a stubborn gesture. "Jeez. Sorry!" I turned away from my friends and started walking toward Deidara and Tobi with a small smile on my face. "Hey, guys!"

Deidara turned his head, looking infuriated. When he saw me, he worked hard to make his features happier. I'd have to remember to laugh at that later. "Oh, hey, 'Sori no Danna…" He mumbled.

"Hi, Sasori-san," Tobi said, sounding not as happy as he usually did.

"What's up? You guys look really pissed," I said casually, hoping for some actual truth.

Deidara's eye twitched and he cursed under his breath. He stood up straight, turned to me and smiled. "Actually, I'm really mad at this school, yeah. I took one look at the menu and was afraid I might pass out. It's so gross, yeah. And Tobi was trying to tell me it was okay."

Tobi winced and said, "No! Tobi just said that it shouldn't be that bad because it's a school lunch and you should eat it because you never eat!"

I frowned. "Um…Really, the food is no good. I've seen what the lunch lady does in the kitchen, and seriously, you don't want to eat it."

Deidara gave me a horrified look and then muttered, "I think Tobi and I will go to the library now, yeah. Because I really don't want to be in the cafeteria anymore."

I nodded and smiled nicely. "Have fun. And start bringing home lunches if you're going to eat at all."

Deidara scowled at Tobi, and then turned back to me with a grin. "I think I will start eating home lunches, yeah. It sounds better than _that._"

I nodded again. "Okay, well, bye then."

Deidara started walking toward the doors with Tobi trailing along behind him. "Yeah, bye, 'Sori no Danna."

I watched them as they left the lunchroom; once outside the cafeteria they started arguing again:

"Tobi doesn't get why you're so upset! You knew she would show up, didn't you!" Tobi shouted.

"Well, yeah! But she didn't show until _you_ did!" Deidara cried.

"So it's Tobi's fault? It's just a coincidence! Stop blaming Tobi, Deidara-senpai!" Tobi's voice was fainter with the distance, but I could still hear it.

_I wonder why they're so concerned about the intruder…_

* * *

_**A/N: I only made this so short because of what will happen next and I'm kind of in a hurry. If you read my profile, you'd understand why I chose to update even though I was in a rush. I'm sorry. **_

_**I did want to point out because no one seemed to notice in the last chapter: I made Deidara the not-so-smart one in math because every other story I've read, says that he's the super math genius. I did it mostly for fun. But, yeah. **_

_**So, sorry, again, for the really short chapter. You want an explanation? Look at my profile. Please review anyway, though.**_


	8. 8: General

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **

* * *

**8: General**

Deidara couldn't remember the last time he was so scared. He knew it wasn't _actually _Tobi's fault, but he had this habit of turning his fear into anger and Tobi usually got the brunt of it. He felt bad for continually hurting him; he could never figure out why the kid stayed by his side anyway, though.

Deidara walked at a brisk pace toward his locker. Home was usually the last place he wanted to go – it always felt so empty. But today, it sounded like sanctuary. At least he'd have a phone nearby if anything happened. School wasn't where he wanted to be at times like this.

He wished he knew where Tobi was. So it would give him more confidence. Tobi had wandered off with his new friend, _Zetsu. _It wasn't that he had anything in general against Sasori's other friends, Deidara was just unsure of how things would turn out in the end if Tobi was mingling with his…at this point, enemy.

Before Deidara could touch his lock, a feminine hand slammed into his locker door. "Looking worried there, Deidara," an all too familiar voice mocked.

Deidara's body went into lockdown while his mind raced. _Would she really try here? Of course. The sky's the limit for The Guardian. _He scowled at the metal in front of him. He'd never believed in karma – until now. He'd spent most of his time since he was thirteen doing things like this. Watching people suffer had always brought him such pleasure. _Oh how the tables have turned. _

"What do _you_ want, yeah?" Deidara surprised himself with a relatively calm voice, though his tone held an everlasting resentment and his body shivered with fear.

"Still hate me, huh?" her voice held a false sadness. Deidara glanced at her face; her red eyes closed as his purple ones fell on her. "Is it just me or is it everyone?" she asked softly.

He had always wondered how Kurinai could stand to kill someone. First time you meet her, you'd think she was completely innocent. She _was _sweet, and the way she acted just made you think that blood would totally wreck her "fragile" mind. You'd think wrong. Deidara had learned that it was all just a kind of lure before she slit your throat. Not that he'd experienced it first-hand; but he'd seen her do it. It was quite frightening and that was one of the main reasons why he was scared.

"All of you," Deidara spat, his resentment unfreezing his body. "I hate all of you, yeah!" Knowing that the reaction he'd get would be less than pleasurable, he stumbled back a little.

Kurinai's eyes snapped open; fire seemed to glow behind her pupils. As her hand shot out toward his throat, Deidara stepped backward until his back hit the wall of lockers behind him. She walked forward and wrapped her hand around his throat.

With a sudden pang of fear, Deidara wondered if he was still stronger than Kurinai. Doubt _almost_ overtook his fear, as the dark haired girl lifted him up a good two feet off the ground and slammed him back into the lockers. He let out a strangled gasp as he worked to slide his fingers under the opposing ones.

"Man, when Leader sent me to come after you, I was so psyched! 'Cause I thought you'd be a challenge," Kurinai mocked. "Did you get weaker over the past, what, four months?" When Deidara didn't say anything, she continued. "You know, I think he misses you. I mean, I wouldn't know for _sure_, I don't spend a lot of time with him—"

"'Cause you're wasting it with Asuma, yeah!" It sounded like he was choking on his own voice. Deidara had always been one to take risks; he'd just never taken one that put his life in serious danger.

Zetsu didn't interfere with Deidara and the intruder's struggle. It wasn't his place at the moment. And besides, what had Deidara done for him? Nothing that he could think of. Except befriend _his_ best friend and then have Sasori give him responsibility over that brat Tobi. Zetsu could only think of reasons to let the fight continue.

Well, it wasn't _quite_ a fight. Considering "Kurinai," as he'd heard Deidara call her, seemed to have the upper hand at the moment.

But the thing Zetsu couldn't understand was why a member of their rival gang, The Protectors (1), was only interested in some lowlife like Deidara. He couldn't imagine the blonde pissing off a gang member.

A strangled cry echoed though the now almost empty halls as Zetsu watched Kurinai apply more pressure to Deidara's throat. It was quite amusing to watch. He wished the boy would put up more of a struggle though.

"Deidara-senpai?!" Zetsu looked past the two freaks and saw Tobi, Sasori, Itachi and Kisame at the end of the hall. His fun ruined, Zetsu turned on his heels and sauntered off.

Tobi ran down the hall, not pausing when he reached Kurinai; just took the swing and had her trying to keep herself on her feet. Tobi had never liked the girl – too stuck up and bitchy. So hitting her just now had felt so good.

"What is your problem?!" Kurinai shrieked, gingerly touching her cheek where he had hit her. "You and Deidara…!" Her voice wavered with rage, but she didn't continue.

Tobi tried not to be possessive; sometimes it was just so hard though. He stepped in front of Deidara and the girl stepped back a little, turning and racing out of the school. His heartbeat sped up as he turned to the blonde, who was clutching his throat and looking confused.

Kneeling beside him, Tobi asked, "Deidara-senpai? Are you alright?"

Deidara blinked a few times and looked up at the orange mask. He nodded weakly and forced a smile, saying, "Yeah, fine, scared."

Tobi shook his head, taking his friend's hand; he stood; helping him up at the same time. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah." Deidara nodded, but his face had a far away expression. "You can go back with your friends if you want, yeah."

Tobi glanced back over at Sasori, Itachi and Kisame. He could hardly call them friends. Looking at Deidara, he whispered, "No, Tobi would rather be with you."

The blonde looked up at him curiously and said, "Okay…"

"Do you need your stuff?" Tobi moved his hand to the small of the other boy's back to help him keep his balance. _Deidara-senpai got off lucky._

Deidara visibly shivered and he shook his head as he stared at his locker. "No, I'll tell my mom I'm sick and she'll keep me home tomorrow, yeah."

"You get out of homework so easily!" Tobi muttered teasingly as he waved to the three at the end of the hall. They waved back uncertainly and he guided his friend away. Deidara smiled up at him. Sometimes, it was so easy to think that they were more than friends.

* * *

Sasori stood there for a minute with Itachi and Kisame; trying to process what had happened. He was also trying to sort his feelings. The way Tobi had acted just now…It felt like thorns were being wrapped around his heart.

"We should tell Leader," Sasori said coldly and started walking away. It was odd for him to feel so attached to one person. Compared to some of the other guys he'd dated, Deidara was by far the most frustrating; even though they weren't technically dating yet. Sasori couldn't figure out when he was telling the truth and when he wasn't. Like now: Was Tobi really just a friend?

The other thing that was bugging him was he was having a difficulty telling himself that he should just hurt the blonde and be done with it. He couldn't really see how he could and that alone was enough to drive him mad. Deidara had a strong hold on him that he may not even know of yet. Sasori looked up as they left the school, almost ready to cry for quite a few reasons. One of them was that for once in his life, he felt weak. Everyone had always bowed down to him, but now, he felt like he was bowing for Deidara. It made him feel weak and powerless.

"Are you alright, Sasori?" Kisame asked, keeping pace with the redhead. Zetsu stood as Sasori's best friend, but Kisame was a close friend too.

"Weirded out," Sasori answered, hearing the edge in his voice. Then he sighed and muttered, "And totally frustrated."

Kisame was quiet for a minute. Finally, he asked, "Do you like Deidara?" That was one of the things he liked about Kisame – he asked for the general look of things and tried to avoid getting personal. Right now, he seemed like the ideal person to talk to.

"Well…" Sasori turned his head. "Yeah. I don't quite know why either." He lowered his gaze to the sidewalk and watched his feet move.

"I don't think that's fair." Sasori looked up at Kisame incredulously. "I mean..." The blue haired boy looked down at him. "If you like him, you shouldn't have to hurt him. I'm sure Leader's seen you're change. But he keeps persisting and getting impatient all the while. It's not fair to you." He smiled a little; as though he thought what he said should make Sasori feel better.

_I've changed? _Sasori adverted his gaze again, staring at the worn pavement. "I guess…But it's my…" _Job? That doesn't sound right. _He knew he could back down too, so it wasn't his duty either. "I'm supposed to do it. It's expected. Feelings don't matter now," He said firmly; he was sure he was trying to convince himself as well as Kisame.

Kisame glanced over his shoulder at Itachi and grinned. "I don't know, Sasori," He said, turning back around. "That's pretty debatable, you know."

The redhead made a face as they turned onto Leader's walkway. Fixing his expression to bored, he knocked on the door.

It swung open and Leader stood there, looking half-surprised and half-angry? "Yes?"

"We need to talk to you," Sasori stated bluntly.

* * *

Deidara leaned against Tobi as they sat on his couch watching TV. Well, they weren't _actually _watching; more like staring absentmindedly.

"Hey, Deidara-senpai?" Tobi suddenly chirped. "Do you remember that night…after you and Asuma had that fight?"

"Yeah. What about it?" Deidara sat up so he could see his friend's masked face.

"Tonight kind of feels like that…to Tobi anyway." He didn't look away from the TV. "Except it's in a different place and you fought Kurinai instead."

Deidara moved his eyes to his hands on his knees. "I didn't really fight her, yeah. I was too scared. Man, I need more practice, yeah!" He ran one hand over the right side of his face. "She was right. I am weaker now, yeah."

This time, Tobi looked down at the slouching blonde. "Since when do you listen to them? Last time Tobi checked 'Deidara-senpai rebels and ignores'."

Deidara smiled. He'd forgotten he'd ever said that. He had gone by that up until he started dating _him_. "Last time you checked, I was still mentally stable, yeah." He almost laughed and almost cried at the same time. Between his old leader and Sasori, he had practically gone crazy with all the irony that kept hitting him.

Tobi did laugh though. "When were you _ever_ mentally stable, Deidara-senpai?" Something in his words made Deidara think he was only half kidding.

The blonde chuckled lightly. "I don't know…Before you, yeah?" His orange-masked friend shoved him lightly and pretended to whine. Deidara leaned back on Tobi again and got lost in memories.

"Tobi wishes some things had never changed." The dark-haired boy absently tweaked at the blonde's hair.

_I know exactly what you mean, Tobi._

* * *

_**A/N: Okay, I know that this might not make much sense. I'm really trying here. I don't want to give away too much too soon and that's really hard for me. **_

_**I didn't forget that Deidara called the gang "The Guardian" and Zetsu called it "The Protectors". It's not a typo or anything. It'll be explained between – at this point, if I'm right – chapters 13 and 17. I don't expect it to get to 17 though, so expect the explanation to be sooner than later. **_

_**Anyway, please review.  
**_


	9. 9: Zetsu

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Naruto.**

**9: Zetsu**

In all the time that I had known Sasori, I could _not_ remember being so infuriated with him. I had always been patient; I had always listened to his petty excuses; I had always waited. But now, I didn't want to be patient; I didn't want to listen to his stupid voice; and I was _tired_ of waiting. I remember a time when I forgot what I was waiting for. I didn't forget now, though. I was waiting for him to come to his senses and _listen_ to _me_ for once. Like that would ever happen.

I was also extremely angry at Deidara. The idiot couldn't keep his mouth shut. Three days after Kurinai's "visit" and he and Tobi fought. I overheard. Turns out, Deidara has a black hole for a heart. He was just using Sasori.

Tobi had said something interesting during their fight: "You're acting just like _him_!!" Though I couldn't really get past my rage long enough to wonder who "him" was. Tobi and Deidara had an odd friendship that neither seemed to value much; opinions didn't matter much to them either.

I thought my friendship with Sasori meant more. But the redhead was being ridiculously stubborn and would _not_ listen. All I could do was think, _Fine! Let him get hurt! It's his choice. I don't care! _I was lying when I said I didn't care, though. I had known Sasori since preschool and caring just seemed to be part of the package.

On top of my personal life worries, Leader was concerned that Tobi knew "things". So I had to jump the gun and ask the brat to join, like, now. Tobi was like a puppy with me – he followed me practically everywhere he thought was important. No doubt he'd say yes as soon as I asked. That wasn't a worry. What worried me was that meant he had more excuses to stay by me. He was like an unwanted second shadow. Though if I said I hated him, I'd be lying. He kept me guessing and always caught me off guard. I couldn't help but wonder what was under his mask as well.

But the whole thing worried me. I wished the day would slow down. But it just sped up. _Why is it, when you're dreading something, time seems to go faster? _I was planning on asking Tobi before lunch. _The "how" to ask was _what I was working on. "Join me and my fellow gang members" sounded like a corny movie line, but slipping it into any conversation was proving to sound difficult.

"Hi, Zetsu-san," Tobi greeted me when we met outside the lunchroom. His shoulders slumped and he sounded sad. He and Deidara were stuck at the same table on opposite ends. His supposed best friend didn't want to talk to him. I guess that's what it was for Sasori and me, but I didn't want to think about it long, so I pushed it out of my mind.

"Hey," I smiled, his cringing somehow brightening my day. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Tobi sounded like he was trying to reach an offhanded tone, but only succeeded in sounding miserable. I actually started feeling sorry for him.

"You know all my friends?" I sounded stupid. But Tobi nodded. "Well, we all kind of make up a gang and, um, my 'leader' wants to know if you'd join."

Tobi stiffened and tilted his head slightly to one side. "A gang? Why Tobi?" He asked suspiciously.

It wasn't quite the reaction I'd been expecting, but I went with it. "Yeah, a gang. And how the hell should I know? Ask the leader of the damn gang."

Tobi looked into the lunchroom at my table and asked, "Which one's the leader?"

Was he serious? "Orange hair; insane amount of piercings…" I trailed off and followed him as Tobi walked in. "Are you _actually_ going to ask him?"

"Tobi's not scared," he answered simply, not pausing when he said it. I couldn't imagine what was running through his head.

"That's not what I meant. Why are you going to ask him?" I corrected myself and him irritably. I could feel myself start to shift. If he kept this up, my black side would take over – and that seemed all too soon for me.

"Why not? Tobi wants to know." The lunchroom was starting to quiet as he walked past Hidan and Kakuzu. I could see Deidara sitting on the far side of his table. He visibly paled when he realized where Tobi was going. He must have been scared of Leader. I stopped walking when I had passed Hidan.

Tobi slammed his hands onto the table – quieting the rest of the lunchroom – and looked at Leader. "Why Tobi?"

Konan was staring at his hands on the table, which were right by her lunch tray. The rest of my friends were staring at Tobi.

Leader shrugged, seeming unfazed. "Why not?"

Tobi looked as though he were ready to explode. His body shook and he curled his hands into fists. "No. That's what Tobi says! Why do you want Tobi? Why not someone else?!"

Leader looked up at him and calmly said, "Because you seem experienced. Because we need another member and you fit the bill."

Tobi calmed down and let hid hands slide off the table to hang loosely at his sides. Konan stared at the empty space for a moment before going back to eating like nothing happened. "What happens if someone says no?" Tobi asked quietly, the defensive edge still in his voice.

"I don't know. I'll think of something." Leader stared at him for a minute before looking down at his food absentmindedly.

"Well…" Tobi glanced over his shoulder at Deidara – who looked concerned with the way the conversation was going – then back at Leader. "No." Shocked whispers floated through the room. "Tobi's done with gangs. Go find someone else." And he walked over to the blonde.

Silence enveloped the room.

"You're not letting that go," Konan said softly, not glancing up from her tray. At this point, the rest of my friends resumed eating and pretending nothing had happened. I just stood there. What could I do? Sid down and pretend I wasn't confused or angry? Act like the rest of my friends? I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"I won't," Leader replied; his voice was quiet but defiantly irritated.

"What are you going to do about it?" Konan persisted. She was the only person I knew who could bug him without getting hit.

Leader shrugged. "Nothing right now. He might come around."

"And if he doesn't?"

"I'll think of something."

"Mm-hmm. Good luck with that, sweetie." Konan stood up, walked calmly away, threw away her trash and left. Leader scowled at his food for a minute before pushing it away. He put his hand under his chin and propped his elbow on the table, glaring at the floor.

The whole time that they had been talking, so had Deidara and Tobi. And that's who I had been watching. Even though the room was still pretty quiet, I couldn't hear them. But they seemed like they were getting along.

"I thought they were fighting," Kakuzu commented, looking over at the blonde and his friend.

"They were. They had a huge fight and everything," I growled. I was really shocked though. Had I been wrong? Did the two really value their friendship more than I had thought?

"You should really get your facts straight," Itachi murmured, stabbing at his food.

I shifted. Turning to my friends, I shouted, "You think it's so easy?! Following people around and trying to fill in the blanks?! Eavesdropping and watching almost everyone?! It's _not _easy! Don't believe me? _Why don't __**you**__ try it?!_" Everyone was staring. The room was silent. Neither of my sides cared. Still fuming, I turned and stormed out.

_**I**__ want to talk to Tobi – I don't want him talking to Deidara._

_**A/N: Sorry Zetsu's chapter was so short. But I managed to slip in some of his feelings for Tobi. : ) **_

_**Well, I have surprises in the next chapter. Tobi reveals his past. A lot of it anyway. I'm hoping to get Sasori's past in chapter 11 and maybe some of Deidara's in chapter 12. But not a lot of it because he's going to let it all slip near the end.**_

_**Anyhow…Hope you enjoyed, please review. **_


	10. 10: Tobi

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto...**

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**10: Tobi**

It was…odd. The day before was so weird. Deidara and I apologized. Really, we can't stay mad at each other for long. I was sure that Zetsu had realized that. I was still upset at Deidara for his cruel intentions, but I didn't want to risk another fight. That's not what made that day so abnormal, though. First, I was invited to some gang that I stupidly didn't recognized until they popped up in front of me and told me who they were. Then, I talked to Deidara. Not that odd, I'll admit. But I guess it was how our conversation went. He was really concerned. He even offered to ditch the rest of the school day with me. The last strange thing of the school day was Zetsu's fit. He was screaming about how things weren't easy for him.

Then _I_ did something strange. I accepted the invitation. I tracked down the leader after school and told him I wanted to be in his gang. I was in. I was then in the Akatsuki.

I hadn't been able to face Deidara all day, though. I felt horrible. Not because I joined the gang, but because I told him I wasn't going to. I couldn't own up to it. I hoped it wouldn't lead to another fight. That was the last thing I wanted.

* * *

When Deidara and I first met, we had only been six and hadn't really liked each other at all. In fact, my mom had forced me to go meet Deidara one day before we had started school. I had seen him playing in his front yard the day before – he was playing some extended version of his favorite anime – and I begged my mom not to make me go. She dragged me along anyway.

But the thing was, I hadn't thought Deidara was a boy. He had seemed really girly then and he had already started growing out his hair. I was at that age where the rumor was going around that girls had cooties and I had to stay away from them. So for me, then, it was natural to want to stay away from Deidara when I thought he was a girl.

My mom and his mom got along fine while they shoved me and him into the downstairs playroom – expecting us to play happily. We didn't. We sat cross-legged on opposite sides of the room with our arms folded against our chests and glared at each other (I didn't have my mask yet).

After awhile, I felt my resentment against him start to fade and saw Deidara look the same. Suddenly, he burst out laughing, fell backwards and hit his head on the wall behind him. Then I started laughing as I crawled over to see if he was alright.

I discovered he was a boy, not a girl.

We then formed an alliance against the cookie-stealing kindergarteners in our class. Okay, we didn't really go against them. We each brought a back-up cookie and gave the thieves the ones the teacher gave us. But we started to become friends after that.

We were _just_ friends up until the third grade when some bully started messing with Deidara. The bully would push him aside and laugh when Deidara fell; knocked his homework off the desk; steal his pens and pencils; and take his desserts from his lunch. Everything a bully was supposed to do.

Deidara was miserable. I felt really bad for him. So I went after his bully; pushed him down in the halls and told him to stay away from my friend or I'd seriously mess him up. Honestly, I don't think I could have even if I'd wanted to. I hadn't really been violent then. But the kid bought it and didn't bug Deidara anymore. Deidara decided that we were _best_ friends then.

I guess our friendship moved in three year intervals, because in sixth grade, we started dating. It wasn't a surprise since we had been so close for so long. It was _how_ that got me.

In the middle of sixth grade, my parents got a divorce. I had never dreamed that my parents would do such a thing and that's when I started to get violent. I hurt my mom; I hurt teachers; I hurt _Deidara. _Deidara stayed by my side throughout it all though and hugged me when I was calm. We didn't make our getting together a big deal or anything, it just happened.

My mom flipped about how violent I was and made me take tae kwon do. Deidara had started before sixth grade out of his own choice. We practiced together and I started getting happier again and less violent.

Then a gang from our school invited us. At first, we didn't want to be part of the gang because of all the things that we'd heard about them. Then we thought it would be fun. So we joined The Protectors.

It _was_ fun…at first. Deidara had always liked fire and I had liked guns; we got to use that to our advantage. He learned how to make his own bombs and cover them with his clay sculptures. I learned how to use a gun and shoot someone in certain spots where it would go completely through and look almost like the person was never shot. We went around killing people and had a blast.

During summer vacation before we went into eighth grade, Deidara and I broke up. And when we went into eighth grade, Deidara hooked up with the leader of our gang.

It was true, Deidara was a big flirt and he used that to his advantage. It was also true that he _hadn't_ been flirting when he and the leader got together. He'd be lying if he said he had a good time with him though.

The leader was all about verbal abuse and Deidara made a good victim. Every time I tried to tell the blonde that they should break-up, he'd get mad at me and say I was jealous. I couldn't convince him and slowly I watched Deidara lose himself until he wasn't the Deidara that I had become friends with. He was angrier and anti-social and the only person he wanted to be with was the leader. And the leader took advantage of that.

Deidara was ever-loyal to the leader. He jumped from rank to rank in our gang. We had both started out in the first rank and he had moved to the second and then third in a period of five months. I was left in rank one. He stood by the leader and soon a gang war erupted between The Protectors and a gang called Myth.

I hate that day. Hate it more that the leader himself.

It was night, we were supposed to meet Myth at a park in town, but the leader wanted to try a surprise attack. I guess he thought we were going to lose. We snuck into the park and got jumped. Several of our members died on entrance. We immediately gave up on the surprise part and just gave it our all. Really, the only sound you could hear was guns shooting and people screaming. I felt young suddenly. I had been thirteen, but you couldn't convince me that being a teenager was fun.

I was fighting about three people at once, though I probably could have taken about five more. But I was also trying to help another member who was getting attacked by more than she could handle. One of the guys I was fighting pulled a knife. I guess I knew what was going to happen and that it was inevitable in my situation. He started slashing wherever he could – my face, my chest, my stomach. I pulled my gun out and shot him down.

When I got out later that night, I was helping Deidara to the hospital. His left eye had been carved out and he'd been shot in the right arm. The leader hadn't helped him, but I didn't bug Deidara with that fact. I just wanted to help him out. It was a long night.

The next day, I left the gang. I knew what would happen – I'd be hunted until someone killed me. I knew because I'd done it to several people. I took the risk and told my mom that I wanted to transfer schools and I even covered my face with a mask. I _was_ hunted. Not as long as I had expected, but it was scary nonetheless. People tried stabbing me, shooting me, beating me to death and god knows what else. I escaped it all with luck on my side.

I didn't see Deidara often, just when he was home. We hung out as much as possible between the time he spent with his boyfriend, family and fighting other gangs. We managed to keep our friendship through it all.

Before he moved, he told me he'd broken up with the leader and left the gang. All I could think of saying was "good luck". Because I knew he'd need it.

I couldn't believe that Kurinai's attack had been the first. Deidara really was lucky. I'd heard that he'd been in one more gang war before he'd moved and still, the only scar he had was on his arm and having no left eye. And now with the surprise attack on him, he got away with no scars. I was a bit envious, but also relieved to know that Deidara was alright.

I was amazed now, standing in front of my new leader and surrounded by seven other members of the gang, that I wasn't as scared as I had expected. Remembering it all, I hated myself for joining another gang, but I wasn't scared of what was going to happen. I knew what they needed me for even before Leader told me.

"That damnable gang, The Protectors, have crossed into our territory and we need to get ready for a war," Leader muttered angrily. "You know anything about the gang?"

I nodded, wrapping my right hand around my left arm. The room we were using was in the basement of the school and had once been a storage room. They had cleaned it out and put a desk and chair in it. There was no source of light whatsoever in the room.

"So tell us about them," Leader said. I could hear his smile.

I hung my head and pulled everything I could remember about the gang out of my memories. I still wasn't scared though. I was just really angry.

_I won't let any of it happen again._

* * *

_**A/N: Tobi's past is revealed!! Sounds like fun, huh? I'd hate to be him. Anyway, so now you know more and I hope that helps alleviate the confusion. I'm sorry, but I don't want to reveal the name of the leader yet. I'm trying to build up suspense for the revelation of his name. I wonder how many of you have already figured out who it is though. If you know, don't ruin it for the ones who don't please. (If there are any who don't know…)**_

_**BTW, this is killing me. I want to, like, mass update this story so I can be done with it and start updating Staying Strong. This story is killer right now. If only I hadn't had so much time on my hands before...**_

_**Please review!**_


	11. 11: Sasori

**Disclaimer: I still DON'T own Naruto, damn it!**

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**11: Sasori**

I was distracted all day in school after Tobi told us what he knew about The Protectors. He said that Deidara actually knew more than he did. What he did know pissed me off. The gang was way stronger than us – I knew it and Leader knew it. And I wasn't happy about it.

Deidara seemed to be just as distracted for awhile. It seemed that he'd finally heard about Tobi joining the Akatsuki and wasn't particularly happy about it. He didn't look like he was ready to end their friendship over it, but it really looked like it ticked him off.

I felt like I'd been wandering the halls all day and I seriously didn't know what I learned in each class or if I learned anything at all. At lunch, I was snapped back to reality when Deidara pulled me aside to talk to me. I didn't know what to expect, Deidara was always doing weird things – especially in the past five days since "Kurinai" came.

He dragged me out of the school and over the fence, into the trees behind the school. We crouched down under the protection of the wood and just sat there for a minute, trying to catch our breath.

"Now what?" I asked him when I could breathe again.

Deidara smiled and said, "I want to ask you out, yeah."

I felt my heart stop and then pick back up, pounding hard against my chest. My mind spun, trying to find something to say and fast. "Okay…" was the best I could come up with.

He laughed quietly, staring at me intently with his visible purple eye. "Come hang out with me at my place after school today, yeah?" He pulled out a piece of paper and slipped it into my hand.

I looked down at it. It was an address; his no doubt. My heart was pounding so hard, I felt like I might stop breathing. In fear of that, all I did was nod. Deidara smiled brightly and leaned toward me. My heart stopped again as his lips pressed up against mine. The bell rang and my heart jumpstarted again, thrumming loudly. We looked back at the school, got up, jumped the fence and raced toward the school. I was happy.

I ended up walking home with Deidara. I called my dad and he told me I could go. Deidara's house was one that I knew. My dad had taken me through it when it went up for sale because he's a realtor and I'd always wanted to see the house.

We ended up in his living room watching TV. Or we were supposed to be. His parents were out and his sister was at a friend's house. We sat on the couch gazing at the TV with no intention of watching it. After awhile, Deidara started the conversation.

"How long have you and Zetsu known each other, yeah?" He asked, looking at me.

The question sounded vaguely familiar; maybe Tobi had asked it, I didn't know. "We've known each other since preschool." I glanced at him and looked surprised.

"That's longer than Tobi and I have known each other, yeah. Are you two close?"

"I guess. I mean, we're best friends…" He cut me off by kissing me. It caught me off guard. I hadn't expected it when just a moment ago we had been talking about my friend.

He pulled back, smiling and blushing. "Sorry. You're tempting, yeah."

I felt my face flush and I smiled weakly, at loss for words. We started talking again and eventually, I ended up leaning on Deidara while we tried to watch TV – with little success. I found myself thinking about how messed up I was going to be when Leader found out – if Deidara and I were going to get anywhere with this – that I was dating the blonde. I tried not to imagine the damage that I would have.

At around six, his sister got home and Deidara and I planned to go out again "sometime soon." We kissed before I left. I decided I'd take whatever Leader had for me. But for now, I was content.

At school the next day, Tobi jumped me with questions.

"Tobi saw you and Deidara-senpai walk out of school together. But he wouldn't tell Tobi what happened. Will you? Please?! Tobi wants to know what happened last night!" He went on and on until I couldn't take it and told him. He was quiet for a minute and then he cried, "You are so lucky!"

I was surprised. Why would Tobi of all people say that? "What do you mean?"

"Tobi's happy for you, that's all." I could hear his discomfort in his voice as he turned away from me and listened to the teacher again.

I sighed and tried to listen, but I couldn't concentrate. Was Tobi jealous of me? Or was he really just happy for me? I couldn't tell, I knew that he wasn't going to tell me anything and I wasn't about to ask Deidara.

**3 weeks later ('cause I'm just that lazy.)**

Deidara and I were dating. It wasn't anything too serious. We had fun anyway, though. I was enjoying my time with the blonde. But it was time to face up to Leader.

"You're dating him?!" Leader cried, slamming his hands onto the desk.

I flinched and nodded. I didn't feel guilty about spending time with Deidara, but I did feel bad that I didn't tell Leader earlier. When you get into the gang that I was in, you promised that you'd be loyal to him – tell him anything you know and if you're doing something he thinks could be crucial. I'd never been very good at following rules.

"You didn't even pinch him. I know; Kakuzu's been telling me what he sees, and all you've been doing is flirting!" Leader shouted.

I hung my head. At least I knew who my friends were now – not Kakuzu. "I'm getting there," I told him.

Leader leaned back in his chair. "Oh? And what are you going to do? I highly doubt you'd be able to hit him if you're in love with him." He sounded calmer, but I didn't trust it.

"I don't want to tell you yet." I was afraid he'd make fun of me, tell me I couldn't do it. I could…It was just going to take some time and effort. But don't most things?

"Whatever. I don't even care anymore. What I really need right now, is Deidara in this gang. If Tobi's right about him knowing more, we'd be more prepared. I need us to be ready," Leader said, sounding frustrated. "And since you're so close to him, why don't you ask him?"

I gawked at him. "Me? Me ask him?" I'd never asked anyone to do anything for me. I wasn't so sure about his request, but I gathered my wits and said, "I guess I can."

"That's good. Because you don't really have much of a choice. You owe it to me at this point," Leader said, his lip piercings glinted up like he was smiling.

I swallowed and whispered, "I know."

_I know that I can't do this._

* * *

_**A/N: I have noticed two things about my story thus far, and I think I'll point them out before I get harassing reviews about them. So, the things are:**_

_**-I have this new habit of making Sasori's chapters really short. I can't figure out why that is. There's just never enough to say when it comes to his chapter…**_

_**-These people don't like to watch TV. This has to be, like, the third chapter where they just sit and stare at the TV without watching it. I wonder what they have against TV…**_

_**Well, I can't figure out why I keep doing those two things, but I'll try to break the habit. (Totally lying) Um…Alright. I still have to think a bit more on Zetsu's and Sasori's pasts, but they will be revealed too. I swear! **_

_**Oh yeah. I decided to mass update it. I will give you, my reviewers, time to breathe, but I am going to finish uploading all the chapters today and am going to update as many times as I can this weekend. Then you can look forward to Staying Strong. Ha-ha!**_

_**Okay, I'm done. Please review.**_


	12. 12: Deidara

**Disclaimer: i don't own naruto...**

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**12: Deidara**

"I can't do it, yeah!" I screamed at Tobi excitedly.

"Huh?" He tilted his head to one side a little and crossed his arms. "If you can't do whatever it is you can't do, why are you so happy about not being able to do it?"

"Because I don't want to do it anymore, yeah!" I exclaimed. "I can't hurt Sasori! I'm going to continue dating him and I'm not going to break-up with him anytime soon, yeah!"

Tobi's arms fell to his side and he stared at me. "You're serious? You're not messing with Tobi, are you?"

"No. I really like Sasori, yeah. I can't believe it took me so long to figure that out!" I grinned and sat down on the chair in the corner of Tobi's room. "I don't want to hurt him if I can help it, yeah."  
Tobi leaned back on his bed and gazed at the ceiling. "Tobi thinks he really likes Zetsu-san. But Tobi's not sure if he wants to tell him. And if he does, how does Tobi tell him?"

I looked at him and said, "I just asked Sasori out and we talked a lot, yeah. We're gunna go do something else soon. But for you…I can't seem to imagine you trying to edge your way around saying how you feel, yeah. All I can see you doing is telling him flat out. However, why not try something subtle like you did with me, yeah?"

The way Tobi sat up like he was startled reminded me that I didn't bring up our ever being together often. It was a touchy subject for me since our break-up lead to me getting together with the leader of my old gang. He must have thought that I'd forgotten. That kind of ticked me off because I remembered all the times that Tobi and I spent together.

"Something subtle? Tobi wasn't the one who did anything when you and Tobi got together. You were the one who did," Tobi said, sounding a bit confused.

"So make moves like I did, yeah," I suggested.

"Tobi doesn't think he's sad or angry…" He muttered hesitantly.

I sighed and impatiently said, "I said _like _the moves that I pulled, yeah."

"That sounds complicated!" Tobi whined, flopping back down on the bed. "It'd be so much easier if Tobi could just say that Tobi liked him!"

I sighed again and hit my head on the back of the chair. "Okay. That works too, yeah."

"But what if Tobi totally freaks Zetsu-san out by doing that?"

"What if you totally flatter him by doing that, yeah?

"What if Tobi blows it?"

"What if you don't, yeah?"

"Stop that!" Tobi cried, sitting up.

"I'm trying to help, yeah!" I shot back, lifting my head to look at him.

"Well, Tobi doesn't think that anything can help him right now. Tobi's just so confused…" He put his face in his hands and sighed.

I thought about that for a minute before I said, "Tobi, I don't think much can freak Zetsu out, yeah. I mean, have you seen him lately? I honestly can't think of anything that would scare him more than his own reflection, yeah."

Tobi turned his head toward me and I knew he was glaring at me. "Tobi doesn't think he's scary."

I gaped at him. "Okay…But I still don't think he freaks easily, yeah."

Tobi huffed and dropped his face in his hands again. "Tobi's still not sure…"

"What's the worst that can happen, yeah?" I asked, shrugging.

"Don't say that! Then everything goes horribly! You'll jinx Tobi!" He cried, standing up.

I stood up too. "Alright, I'm sorry, yeah."

"Tobi?! Almost dinnertime, Deidara has to go home now!" Tobi's mom called up the stairs.

I stared at him for a minute and he sighed in defeat. "Okay, Tobi will try to talk to Zetsu-san tomorrow."

I smiled and nodded in approval. "Then I'll see you tomorrow, yeah."

"Call Tobi later and finish telling him what you're planning on doing with Sasori-san, okay?" Tobi said, taking me to the door.

"I will," I assured him, walking out the door and waving over my shoulder. The thing was, I didn't really know what was next.

* * *

After Tobi and I met, Tobi had been the first one to comfort me…After I hit my head on the wall laughing at him. I don't think he knew that I had been laughing at him at the time though. He had made the funniest face when he was trying to stay mad at me. We had been six and I hadn't been able to figure out why he didn't like me. So I just pretended that I didn't like him either. I think my logic had been that he'd like me if he thought that we hated each other. I'm not so sure that it was the best logic though. Eventually we got over it and became friends.

Through thick and thin, we stayed by each others' sides during our kindergarten year. Defeated the cookie-thieves, taught each other how to swing, conquered the slides and dodged every girl who didn't believe in cooties. Kindergarten was the best grade.

Third grade came fast and I discovered the art of avoiding-the-kid-who-likes-to-throw-woodchips-at-your-face. If you ask me, every third through sixth grade kid should know that technique. This kid was everything that a bully should be: evil, ugly and jealous. No, I'm serious! He was jealous of me. Because I had friends and I was cute and Tobi and I had several boys falling head over heels for us. I couldn't escape the kid. He did everything that a bully should do: called me names, pushed me around in the halls, knocked my books out of my hands and stole all of my desserts.

Tobi did something that a best friend should. He told the bully to fuck off. And then I decided he was better than any friend that I had ever had, he was a best friend. I thought he deserved the title since he made a threat that I knew he couldn't keep. Taking into consideration that he couldn't hit a rock without feeling guilty about it, I knew his threat was empty.

In sixth grade, it was time for me to return all the favors. Tobi's parents pulled a fast one on him and told him that they were going to get a divorce. He flipped out, and, not knowing how to deal with the news, he started getting violent. It shocked me when he hit his mom and teachers, but it scared me when he hit me. I didn't know what to do; I wanted him to stop being angry; I didn't want him to lash out at me anymore. All I could think of was to try and comfort him when he wasn't hitting me. I hugged him and told him he was making a big deal out of nothing. Then at night, I cried myself to sleep because I was afraid of the next day.

Finally, Tobi's mom got smart and put him in tae kwon do with me. I thought that it wasn't the brightest idea at first – thinking that it would just make him want to hit me with his new moves. But it didn't. He got better. He apologized to me for hitting me and we started _officially _dating.

Now that I think back on it, I kind of wish it had lasted longer. But the summer before we started eighth grade, we broke up. You know how people usually breakup because they fight over dumb things? We didn't fight. I just said that I'd lost interest and Tobi agreed, saying he felt the same way. It was something that we didn't feel bad about because we knew that the other felt alright with it. (Something that a lot of people aren't capable of achieving.)

I wish that I could go back and change some things; like after breaking up with Tobi, I wouldn't have hooked up with the leader of the gang. I thought he was the greatest thing since…since, well, Tobi. He was cute and nice and funny. And I loved him.

Tobi kept telling me that he was killing me, but I didn't want to believe him. I denied it and told him what every friend in denial would: "You're just jealous!" I guess I could see that he was right though. My boyfriend kept telling me that no one else appreciated me and everyone but him thought I was worthless. There were days where all he wanted to do was tell me how useless I was, but I still stayed by him though it all. Even when I heard that he was dating someone else on the side. I chose to pretend that it wasn't happening and that everything was fine between us.

I can't really remember when, all I know is that somewhere between Tobi and I getting together and the leader and I getting together, Tobi and I joined the gang. We killed person after person. It kind of surprised me that Tobi could kill people at all, but not that much considering when he had been so violent he hadn't hesitated to hit me. I know that I was once in the first rank of the gang but I spent the rest of the time in the third rank (before I left, they added another rank and I was promoted to fourth).

I don't remember the first gang war very well because I almost got knocked out too many times. I do remember that the leader never helped me. Then, I had convinced myself that he had just been too busy. I know that wasn't the reason now. I also remember very clearly the pain of having my eye carved out. I don't think I could ever forget that. The other thing I don't think I'll ever forget is that the person who got me out was Tobi.

I do remember the second gang war well, though. Tobi had left the gang a few months back and I went into the war knowing that if anything happened, no one was going to get me out. I fought half way through and then ran off because I was scared of dying. Leader never bugged me about it.

And the breakup…I was going to move, so I decided to talk to my boyfriend before I left. He told me that I had just been a game, that nothing in the world could ever make him love me. He told me that I was stupid for trusting just anybody and anyone who tried to date me was doomed to boredom. Talk about a big blow to my self-esteem.

I don't want to be like my ex. Now that I found out how much I liked Sasori, there was no way I was going to hurt him under any circumstances.

* * *

"Sasori and Zetsu kissed!" Kakuzu told me the next day.

I stared at him, half wanting to laugh and half wanting to cry. "Are you sure, yeah?"

"Positive! I watched it happen," he said, nodding.

"Why did he do that, yeah?" I whispered.

"I don't know for sure, I only got there when they kissed," Kakuzu said quietly.

I couldn't believe it. I had known that Sasori liked me and it had taken me awhile to come to the fact that I liked him back. But now I was lost. How could he do that? We were dating. Did I suddenly become someone he didn't care about?

I didn't care if I was like my ex or not anymore – that was in the back of my mind when I decided that I wanted to breakup with Sasori.

_I'm tired of being the game._

* * *

_**A/N: …unexpected enough? Um…still not ready to reveal the name of ex-boyfriend, even though I'm sure everyone's figured it out by now if they've been paying attention and went back a few chapters and put three and three together. XD **_

_**The kiss and the soon-to-be breakup? Courtesy of a book I just recently read. Ironically, it had just what I needed to kick-start my story. Although, I must apologize for not extending the getting together of Deidara and Sasori. Honestly, I'm just no good at it. Sorry.**_

_**Please review. **_


	13. 13: Tobi

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! But I do own my happiness!**

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**13: Tobi**

I was shocked. All I had wanted to do was tell Zetsu how I felt and hoped that he would return the feelings. But instead he went and kissed Sasori. I couldn't believe it – no, scratch that. I didn't _want_ to believe it. I didn't know how to handle it. Maybe this was one of those instances where someone loved a person, but they didn't love them back. I hoped it wasn't, but a lot of that hope had already been demolished.

Kakuzu had told me that Zetsu and Sasori had kissed. He was also the one who told Deidara. I probably would have heard about it later since they hadn't exactly hidden anywhere when they had lip locked. I sighed and stared at the teacher darkly. I needed someone to blame for my bad mood and she was in my sight for forty more minutes.

When I walked out of class, I didn't feel much better than I had walking into it. I was depressed, angry and spiteful. I'd pretty much forgotten to be shocked when it really settled – seventy-five minutes after I'd heard about the damn kiss. My loathing seemed to be the only reason I was thinking at all. I'd never liked holding grudges against anyone – I always thought that it was rude and it always made me feel crummy when someone held one against me – but I was hurt. I totally twisted around the truth to my thoughts and made myself believe that because I was in pain, it was okay to make someone else feel bad too. And so, I walked around in school calmly.

Until I saw Zetsu.

When I saw him, all my loathing came rushing back to me and all the reasons I felt like I should hate him came to mind and all I felt like doing was screaming at him. But I didn't. I walked past him with as much dignity as I could manage – squaring my shoulders, clutching my books to my chest and holding my head high. He looked at me almost apologetically and I practically lost my façade, ready to start yelling at him. I managed to get past him and into my next class before I crumpled. I buried my face in my arms on my desk and suppressed my tears. This was pointless; I couldn't stay mad at him. I was more hurt than anything and making him feel miserable seemed to be failing.

I could kill someone with no regret, but I couldn't hold a grudge against someone without feeling guilty. I was a baby.

After school, I caught up with Deidara…Sort of. I had to run after him and yell his name several times before he stopped to look behind him. "What's wrong, yeah?" He asked.

I had to catch my breath before I could talk to him. "Tobi just wants to talk to you for awhile. Can Tobi?" Deidara nodded and we started walking to his house. "Tobi feels depressed."

"I can't imagine why, yeah," Deidara muttered sourly, shoving his hands into his pockets and kicking a pebble like he had a personal grudge against it.

"Tobi can't figure out why they'd do that…Tobi almost hates them for it, but Tobi's tried hating, and he can't do it," I told him with a sigh. "It's not fair. All Tobi wanted was a brand new start. Well, he got one. One with a lot of depressing reality."

Deidara looked up at me and said, "I just get major déjà vu, yeah. Nothing goes the way I want it to. I just go in big circles, yeah."

I stared at the sky thoughtfully and murmured, "Have you ever noticed how whenever I do something it affects you and vise versa? It always has. Tobi just noticed now."

He stared at the sidewalk as he said, "I don't get that, yeah. What did you do to cause this?"

"Tobi's not sure if he did anything. He just knows that he told Zetsu how he felt and the next thing Tobi knows is Sasori and Zetsu are lip locking," I informed him softly. I wasn't in the mood to get all "what if" with Deidara. I was pretty sure he felt the same way.

We stopped at Deidara's house and faced each other. "Let me know when that falls into place with that kiss, yeah. All I know is that I'm done playing with Sasori, okay?"

I nodded, not really thinking about what he meant by saying that. "Okay. Tobi's gunna see you tomorrow, right?"

"Right. See you tomorrow morning, yeah." He turned and walked into his house, closing the door gently. I turned and made my way home, still too distracted to think of much more than how down I felt.

The next morning, everything that had happened yesterday came rolling back into my head so quickly that I almost had a headache from the jumbled thoughts. It took me a few minutes before I could sort them all out, and I did that over breakfast. On my way out the door, I had reached the most pressing of the thoughts: what Deidara had said before I walked home yesterday. His exact words rang in my head like it was the only occupying thought there. _"All I know is that I'm done playing with Sasori, okay?" _

I had never gotten big details on Deidara and his ex's breakup, but the one thing that Deidara had always made clear was that he had been called a game. Taking that into consideration, I realized what he had meant when he had said that he was done playing. This realization made me reanalyze my assumption yesterday. When I thought about it all, it made a big chain reaction that was still happening: I had told Zetsu that I liked him, it must have freaked him out and so he went to Sasori looking for comfort. I wasn't sure how the kiss got there, but I knew that after that, Kakuzu told Deidara and me. This meant in all truth, I had been the one to cause the kiss and it was going to urge Deidara into breaking up with Sasori.

It had been my fault.

I walked to school thinking about what I could do to stop this, who I could talk to. And I was also dreading what would happen if I couldn't prevent the breakup. I was so deep in thought, that I wasn't paying attention to anything and crashed into Zetsu in the halls.

"I'm sorry," he said, with a look that told me he wasn't talking about the collision.

I screwed my face into a hurt expression that I wish he had been able to see. "Whatever. Tobi doesn't care what you are." Then a new thought occurred to me. What if I managed to get past my resentment enough to tell Zetsu what was going on and that I needed his help?

"Look, I didn't mean to hurt you or anything. In all honesty, you kind of freaked me out and I didn't know what to do. I went to Sasori and then…" He trailed off, seeming to want to explain further, but not knowing how.

So I took the liberty of finishing for him. "You kissed him. Tobi heard. And now, thanks to you, Deidara's so hurt and angry that he's planning on breaking up with Sasori. Tobi didn't mean to freak you out, he's sorry for that. But now you and Sasori have created a déjà vu for Deidara and you can blame Tobi or you for what's gunna happen." Actually, saying it like I was made me feel better. Maybe I was hoping that putting all the blame on him would incline him to want to help me.

Zetsu was quiet for a minute, his face an unreadable expression. "You're implying that what I did is going to make Deidara breakup with Sasori?" he asked thoughtfully. I nodded. "What can I do? What can you do?"

It was my turn to think. "Tobi's not sure. The only thing he knows is that it should be stopped."

"We don't even know when or where Deidara's gunna breakup with him, how are we supposed to stop it?" Zetsu snapped, probably realizing my intentions of blaming him.

"Tobi knows when and where. When it's darker, in the woods behind the school. That's where they got together and that's where Deidara's planning on ending it," I told him, my voice a bit farther away than I would have liked.

"How would you know all that?" he barked, his anger obviously catching up with him.

"Because Deidara-senpai is Tobi's best friend and because Tobi watched them ditch lunch and go to the woods and because Tobi knows that when Deidara-senpai wants to breakup with someone, he knows it'd hurt a lot more when they broke-up in the exact place they got together!" I shouted, remembering one conversation when Deidara had mention that his ex dumped him in the exact spot that they had first kissed.

Zetsu scrutinized me for a moment and then said, "What do you want to do about it?"

I stared him down too. "Try to get there before they do and talk Deidara-senpai out of it."

He hung his head and said, "Sounds easy. But wait…I really am sorry for what I did. You threw it at me so fast; I didn't feel like I had had time to think anything through and panicked. But when I did get to think through it all, I knew I'd reacted badly and I should have told you how I felt too." He paused and I felt myself wait in anticipation for what he was going to say next, hope coursing through me. "I really like you too, Tobi."

I broke out smiling and almost threw off my mask so he could see. I barely managed to refrain myself from doing so. "Tobi's sorry he got mad at you. But now, all Tobi can think of saying is, YAY!" I couldn't help but jump once and didn't bother to ignore the smile that brightened Zetsu's face at the sight. He was forgiven for now. But then we had other things to worry about and walked down the halls whispering about what we could possibly do to stop the breakup.

_I hope we can do something…_

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_**A/N: … Well, that was interesting. In one excruciatingly long chapter, Tobi got mad at Zetsu and then forgave him. It was in a period of two days there, but still. **_

_**And now, the chapter I have been waiting for…The big breakup!! –jumps up and down a few times– I am so glad that it's finally here! Because I have been anticipating this part for a few months and planning it for about as long. It's not the end however. –sighs– But the end may be drawing near…I wish.**_

_**Please review. **_


	14. 14: General

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! I just like the characters!**

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**14: General**

After school, Deidara met Sasori at his locker and requested to see him in the woods behind the school later that afternoon, around the time that it started getting dark out – just as Tobi had already predicted. Zetsu thought that this was all too coincidental and almost thought that all this was just a big prank. But he stuck to it all just as he and Tobi had planned. When Deidara had left, Zetsu went up to Sasori and tried to tell him about the blonde's plans for that night. But as Tobi also predicted, the redhead scoffed at him and walked away.

The afternoon was spent in waiting for that evening with Tobi and Zetsu working on homework at Tobi's house. When they were done with their work, they eased away the rest of the afternoon talking.

By the time that Deidara and Sasori met in the woods that night, Tobi and Zetsu were still talking; too intrigued by their conversation to remember time. When the two did realize it was past time for them to go, they panicked and ran as fast as they could to the meeting place.

"I don't know…Something's happened or, well, something, yeah. I'm not sure what to do," Deidara told Sasori, his voice was as far away as his expression and thoughts. His hand was folded around something that Sasori couldn't see in the dark; but he knew that he was clutching it like a life-support.

The redhead suddenly had a sinking feeling and silently begged that this wasn't going to go where it inevitably would. "Not sure what to do about what?" he asked quietly, looking at the blonde's face helplessly.

"A lot of things, yeah. I'm lost and no one seems to want to help," Deidara turned his head so that his eye could search Sasori's face.

"I want to," Sasori said, sounding pitifully like he was begging.

"But _can_ you, yeah?" Deidara countered. "Can you help someone whose life seems to be going in circles? Can you help someone who can't prevent the same things from happening again and again, yeah? Can you help someone find themselves when you don't even know where they are?" Sasori stared at him blankly. "I think that it's impossible, yeah."

Sasori looked away, already feeling his heart struggling to stay intact. It was going exactly the way he didn't it want it to go. "Maybe…"

Deidara turned his body to face Sasori as he said, "If I can't help myself, why do you think I'm going to put my trust in some random person, yeah? Do you seriously think that I'd go to you for help with anything?" His voice was slowly rising as he continued, "No. Because you're the person who's making my life go in its big circle, yeah!"

Zetsu and Tobi had arrived by this time and realized that at this point, they were far too late. Tobi had warned Zetsu that once Deidara got angry, it was hard to talk him into calming down – let alone sense. They couldn't do anything now. So they watched in horror.

"All I ever seem to do is meet people who insist on hurting me. And I don't see it until it's right in front of my face, yeah!" Deidara screamed, making Sasori flinch away. "Am I not meant to be cared about? Am I just supposed to keep getting hurt, yeah? And you…You're just like the last guy I dated! All you seem to want to do it make sure I'm miserable, yeah!"

Upon hearing that, Sasori snapped his head up and looked at Deidara. His visible eye seemed to burn with betrayal and unhealed pain. There was no actual rage in his eye. "The thought of hurting you intentionally never crossed my mind!" the redhead yelled. He couldn't believe it. Where was Deidara getting all these ideas?

"Really? Then why'd you kiss Zetsu, yeah?" Deidara accused.

Realization crossed Sasori's face as the blonde's words sank in. "That's why? He freaked out on me. I didn't even think about it. I was trying to comfort him and…" He could see that his words were having no effect on Deidara. "I wasn't trying to hurt you!" he cried desperately.

"_Sure._ I thought you guys were just close friends, yeah. I didn't think you'd want to…" Deidara trailed off, his face twisting into a mask of pain. "Well…Who'd want to love a puppet like you anyway, yeah?!" And, with a bit of a struggle, he threw down the little puppet he'd taken when the two had first met and walked away.

Sasori stood there, staring at the small toy he'd made laying in the dirt. It looked like it was staring back at him mockingly. As he began to cry, he watched his tears stain the wooden face at his feet. Then he turned and, holding his torso, he walked away from it. He felt like he was holding his own body together, like his limbs were only attached by thin strings that could snap easily. He was sure that it had something to do with the name that Deidara had applied to him. But it just gave the strings more of a reason to be.

Zetsu and Tobi stepped from their hiding place and to the small puppet slowly. Their bodies were shaking and they felt like crying for their friends. Tobi paused next to the toy, then twisted and scooped up the wooden body. It was still intact – amazingly since Deidara had kept it – and was only a little dusty. The shadows cast by the lights from the school that weren't far away made the puppet look eerily hollow. Yet it looked like it was holding the pain of both Deidara and Sasori and Tobi was a bit surprised it was still as heavy as wood, no more, no less.

Zetsu stared at the path that Sasori had taken to get home and wanted to scream. It was his entire fault and he knew it. He'd always gone to his best friend when he needed help and was regretting it now. If only he knew how to solve his own problems then he wouldn't make mistakes like that. But he didn't really know how to deal with his own problems. It always made him more confused.

He turned his attention to the puppet in Tobi's hand. Tobi's mood rolled off him like an avalanche. He was shattered. Zetsu couldn't really see why the puppet had much value. It looked like just another puppet that Sasori made, except it the shadows that were cast over it made it creepier than usual. But Tobi held it like it held some extraordinary symbolism.

"Deidara-senpai hung it in his locker," Tobi said softly. "He was often late because he'd spend extra time staring at it." He closed his hand around the puppet and its wooden joints clinked together ominously. So it did have some sort of value. Like a symbol of finalism.

Suddenly feeling like he should do something to try and help Tobi shake the depressing feelings, Zetsu reached over and hugged the orange-masked boy. Tobi sank into the embrace.

The next day, Kakuzu was sent to invite Deidara to their gang since Sasori wasn't there and he was "incapable," as his leader had put it. Kakuzu wasn't really looking forward to this particular meeting with the blonde, considering that the rumor about Deidara's and Sasori's breakup had somehow spread through the school at a seemingly impossible rate and Kakuzu knew that it wasn't going to put Deidara in a very good mood. He did pause his thoughts for a moment to wonder how anyone had heard about the said breakup when he knew that Zetsu and Tobi would never tell. But, the more pressing matters seemed to overwhelm him again and he went back to his search for Deidara.

He couldn't track him down until after school where he saw him at his locker. Kakuzu hurried over to him and quickly asked if he could talk to him. When he got an approval, he asked if Deidara would join his gang.

Deidara stared him down for a minute, looking like he might hit him, and then he said, "Why should I, yeah?"

"You're asking the wrong person," Kakuzu told him, raising his hands in defense.

Deidara's face turned thoughtful as he said, "Does this have something to do with one of The Guardian's members showing up, yeah?"

Kakuzu looked at him like he had three heads. "Who?"

The blonde scrutinized him and then, deciding that he was serious, confirmed, "The Guardian. The girl who tried to kill me the other day was from The Guardian, yeah."

Kakuzu was puzzled. That's not what he'd been told. "Maybe we're confused. We were informed that the girl was from the gang The Protectors."

Deidara laughed aloud and said, "They changed their name a year ago, yeah. The leader decided that their old name didn't really fit them and that their new name made them sound more interesting. When were you last informed, yeah? Maybe I'll join just to tell you all what you need to know about the gang."

Kakuzu looked hopefully up at Deidara and asked, "So, is that a yes to the invite?" Deidara nodded and Kakuzu mentally jumped for joy. "Thank-you! Now I have to go track down Leader and tell him…"

Deidara held one hand up and said, "Before you pull a disappearing act on me, I foolishly don't know what the name of your gang, yeah. Will you tell me?"

Kakuzu turned his attention back to the blonde and distractedly muttered, "Huh? Oh…Sure. Akatsuki. Later!"

Deidara watched Kakuzu race down the hall and felt like his distraction had been taken from him. He remembered the emptiness in him and let his shoulders slump and his head drop. Last night's events had caught up with him and, though he had told himself he was prepared for this, he felt lonely and extremely guilty for what he had done to Sasori. When the redhead hadn't shown up that day, he knew that it was his entire fault. He was to blame if something had happened to Sasori; that he hadn't been in school; that when he did come back, he'd be moping around. And Deidara felt horrible.

Deidara wasn't sure what Sasori could do to himself over this and entirely why it was his fault if he did, but he knew that he would blame himself if something did happen. He let the emptiness motivate him to move and he gathered his stuff and left the school feeling more depressed than he had when he'd come in the building.

_I'm such a moron._

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_**A/N: -sigh- I get myself so worked up about these things and then I don't know what to do next. I hope the now named, 'Breakup chapter' was good and hope you'll forgive me long enough to read the next few chapters. –jumps to conclusions– Thanks! Please review!!**_


	15. 15: Pein

**Disclaimer: Whoa...I've been spelling that word so many times, I almost forgot how to spell it...I don't own Naruto, by the way...**

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**15: Pein**

I walked down the street, ignoring the glances that I received from passerby who thought my piercings were either intriguing or scary. I didn't have time to give them a glare to get them to back off. I needed to get to Sasori's place and talk to him. Well, actually, I felt like I should go over there and laugh in his face and tell him that I was right, but I was a bit – not by much – more considerate than that. So even though I _had_ been right after all, I also realized that he had just suffered a horrid breakup and I needed him to be on his toes for whatever was going to happen next. Unfortunately, I knew the way he got better was talking to someone. I was going to make myself his prime target for the next few hours.

When I reached his house and knocked on his door. A little boy who looked somewhat like him – meaning the hair and empty expression – answered the door. "What do you want?"

I stared down at him and then realized who he was. Sasori had talked vaguely about him once or twice and from my memory I could tell that this was his little brother. "I want to see Sasori."

"It's nice to want; builds character," Sasori's little brother said and attempted to shut the door in my face.

"Let me see him," I commanded.

He looked up at me angrily and said, "Now why should I? Just because you have a strong voice and you're the leader of a gang that I don't give a shit about? Just because you think you can boss me around and get away with it? No way. I'd rather tell you to fuck off before I let you see my brother."

I blinked in surprise and changed my tactics. "I need to see your brother now. I don't really care what you say; if I have to I'll push past you and go in without your permission."

Sasori's little brother seemed to take this into consideration before he decisively said, "Alright. But not because you're threatening me. It's only because I decided that if you can get him to leave his room, then I don't mind you being here. Just don't piss him off even more, got it?"

I nodded, he stepped aside and I walked in. I liked the kid. He reminded me of Sasori. I made my way up the stairs and to Sasori's door. I knocked loudly and listened to several crashes and then the door opened and the redhead stood there, looking at me stupidly.

"I need to talk to you," I announced and walked into his room.

Sasori sighed from behind me and, after shutting the door, he went to his bed and sat down. "What do you need to talk to me about?"

I pulled out the desk chair and set it down in front of him. "Why weren't you in school today?"

"Why should I have been?" he asked, sounding really unhappy. "I don't think I had any particular orders to be there."

"Don't wear me out, moron. I know that Deidara dumped you and what I really want to do is rub it in your face. But I won't. I will, however, tell you that Kakuzu asked him to join and he accepted." I watched his face turn from grumpiness to pure rage. Before he exploded, I continued, "I don't want to talk about that though. What I want to do is know why you didn't show up in school today."

Sasori took a few deep breaths before he managed to grunt out, "I didn't want to see him. Okay? It didn't exactly make it to my 'top ten fun things to do' list. And besides, what's so important about today?"

"I don't know…it's just like every other day, right?" I asked pleasantly. "And you're supposed to be there everyday!"

Sasori snapped his head up and he shouted, "One day won't kill anyone!"

"You better be there tomorrow for the meeting, though," I warned him. Then, setting that aside, I said, "I also want to know what happened last night."

Sasori looked half relieved and half weary. "What more do you want me to know? He broke up with me." I shook my head and told him that I wanted to know the story. So he told me; by the end of his story, he seemed like he might cry. I ducked my head and thought it through.

"I'm sorry," I managed to squeak. I hated putting myself into situations like this, but when I had to, I thought I did okay at sounding compassionate. "He sounds like he tried his hardest to be like the biggest jerk he could manage."

Sasori had his back to me, but he quickly spun around and, sounding panicked, said, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, it sounds like he was trying to convince himself of everything he was saying at the same time as convincing you," I paused and made sure I thought that I was right before going on. "I don't think he really meant it, even if he sounded like it. Really, I think he was more hurt than anything and the breakup was just something he didn't think through all the way."

Sasori was staring at me blankly now. Then, suddenly, he broke down and crumpled onto the ground crying. I turned my head, not really knowing what to say or do. After awhile, he sat up and whispered, "I don't know whether to believe you or not. I want to think. I'll be in school tomorrow, but for now, could you leave?"

I looked at his desperate expression and sighed. "Alright. I'll see you tomorrow then." I got up and left, walking down the stairs and toward the front door. Sasori's little brother was sitting in the living space of the front entrance.

He stood up and stared at me hopefully. "Is he gunna leave his room soon?"

I felt pity surge through me as I said, "I'm not sure if he'll leave tonight, but he has to go to school tomorrow."

The boy looked down at the wooden floor sadly and softly said, "Okay…Thanks for coming."

I didn't mention that I hadn't come to get Sasori to leave his room, but instead I asked, "By the way, what's your name?"

He seemed surprised. "My name's…Gaara," he said quietly. "Did Sasori never mention me then?"

"He never mentioned your name. He says a lot about you." Being kind wasn't something I often was, but when someone obviously needed me to be, I could be nice. "Thanks for letting me in."

Gaara nodded and then stared at the stairs where Sasori was standing. I left quietly, deciding that I was tired of being there. I walked back down the streets, the lamps on the side of the road blinking on as the sun sank slowly behind the mountains. I stopped and watched the orange orb intently for a minute or two, then made my way back home. I'd be getting a phone call from Konan soon; since I had turned off my cell phone, I knew that she was _not _going to be happy.

_Well, time to face the music…_

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_**A/N: Pein is a very cool leader if you ask me. But is anyone asking me? NO! Well, does it matter? I guess not. A semi-important filler chapter and I once again ask you to please review.**_


	16. 16: Sasori

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto...**

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**16: Sasori**

I stood on the stairs, watching the door after Leader had left as though I expected him to waltz right back in and start laughing at me. But the door never opened. And Gaara stood at the bottom of the stairs staring intently at me with a concerned expression on his face. When I finally realized that the door wouldn't open again for a few more hours – and the person walking in would be my mother – I turned to my younger brother and told him to order out and I'd be down in awhile. Then I turned back around and went back to my room.

I dragged the desk chair back to the desk and busied myself with organizing said desk. Since I honestly wasn't a very organized person, I knew that this job would take quite awhile. I faithfully stuck to it until I realized that my "awhile" that I had given Gaara had been turned into "a few hours" and I was sure that my mom would be home by now. So, looking wistfully at my still untidy desk, I left my room and wandered down the stairs.

"Hi honey. How are you?" Mom asked, looking up from the dining room table where she was eating pizza and flipping through a bunch of papers that were messily scattered on the table. Gaara was eating across from my mom, gazing at me expectantly. Obviously, he'd already voiced his opinions of my condition.

"Fine," I muttered, moving to get some food. "How are you?"

She dutifully answered, telling me about her day at work; about all the people who called in and yelled at her and how her boss had assigned her way too much work – hence the papers that I had to push aside when I sat down to eat. Finally finished telling about her seemingly horrid workday, she asked again, "How are you?"

I held her stare for a minute before I went back to picking off all the vegetables that had somehow ended up on my pizza and muttered, "Tired…Depressed, but I'm living." This seemed to set off an alarm in her head and I reassuringly rephrased my earlier description of how I felt. "I'm depressed, but I'm awake and moving around and keeping my mind off of everything that's bugging me."

Mom sighed in relief and said, "Want to tell me what's bugging you?"

I made a face and murmured, "Not really. I'd like to keep them at bay, not let them get to me."

Gaara sat, watched and listened to the exchange and ate his pizza. But finally he couldn't resist and said, "Therapists say that it's a good idea to talk about what's bugging you."

Mom and I stared at him for a minute and then I grumbled, "Where'd you hear that?"

He stuck his tongue out at me and cried, "I spend my time reading books, watching _educational _TV and listening to the world around me. What do you do?"

I sank into my seat, dropped my slice of pizza and muttered, "Get dumped."

Mom gave me an understanding look mixed with pity and said, "Don't think like that."

I wanted to scream at them. But I knew better; so I took my dissected pizza to the sink, dropped the plate in and went back up to my room. There, I went dutifully back to my desk and continued working well into the night. When I got too tired, I gave up the seemingly impossible task and went to bed.

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I forced myself to get out of bed the next morning. The hardest part of the morning was walking out the door and going to the bus stop. I didn't want to be there and nothing I thought would convince me that I wanted to go anywhere. In fact, I could list several reasons to turn around and go home and none to keep me motivated for the day. But I didn't turn around for some reason. Maybe I thought that going would be like I was laughing in Deidara's face because I had managed to get out of bed this morning.

But I was less than happy to be walking around the school that day. I couldn't even glare at the people who whispered about me as they passed me. I felt like every part of me had lost their fight. I felt like I'd finally been rendered weak. Despite it all, I managed to make it through the day and to the meeting after school.

And almost run into Deidara.

When I walked into the room, I wasn't paying much attention to the world around me and practically crashed into the blonde – who was slouching in his position at the center of the room in front of Leader's desk while everyone else pressed up against the wall. I grudgingly slunk past Deidara and took my place by the wall. I ignored Zetsu's constant concerned glances at me and listened to what Deidara had to say.

He told us about the four ranks the gang had – one at weakest and fourth at strongest – and the duties the members of each rank had. The first rank was used to eliminate threats and opposing gangs; the second was used as spies and relaying messages from the third rank to the first; the third rank was used to take messages from the leader to the second rank and negotiate with other gang members when the leader didn't want to. The fourth rank was the one that the leader stood on; he selected his favorite people from each rank and sent them to fulfill the harder kills – like hunting down the people who joined and betrayed or left the gang – and sometimes he'd use them to ask for truces.

Deidara admitted that he had been one of the favorites and made it to the fourth easily and did just what was expected of him. He explained that in order to have the four ranks, they'd had to recruit several people – courtesy of the first ranked members who were trying to prove their worth – and the gang had people scattered all over Kohana. He made it a point to make sure that we knew that we were definitely outnumbered and that it would be hard to even compare to The Guardian with our current fighting style (which we couldn't figure out how he knew about when we hadn't shown him) because the best fighters of the gang could take six people at a time.

When Deidara was sure he'd covered everything he thought we should know about The Guardian, Tobi piped up, "There are four ranks now?"

The blonde looked over at his friend and nodded. "They thought that the extra rank would improve the overall look of the gang and make more room for the new members that they'd inevitably get, yeah."

Tobi gazed up at the ceiling thoughtfully and then nodded and said that it made sense. Deidara stole a glance at me, but I brushed it off as though it didn't really matter – which in many ways it didn't to me.

Everyone turned to Leader, expecting him to make an outraged burst of frustration. But he remained silent, probably contemplating the many ways we'd be crushed if we called a gang war against The Guardian. Suddenly he said, "Okay, well, you're gunna train us. We need to be prepared for a war against them. Speaking of which, any advice on calling on the leader for one?"

The silence was because we were all stunned. I wanted scream at him that it was stupid and we shouldn't call a gang war on them in the first place. I thought that it was pointless; I thought that we were going to lose anyway. So I honestly didn't understand why he wanted us to train under Deidara.

Deidara stared at Leader for a minute before he said, "I'd like to ask Tobi to help me if I'm going to fulfill the task you've asked me to accomplish, yeah. And as for advice, he's not going to answer to anyone. He likes the leader of the opposing gang to personally ask, yeah." He paused and then added, "If you really want to ask him, take a few people with you, because chances are, if he's not planning on invading your territory immediately, he'll probably want to kill you."

We all thought about that and tried to cover the shivers that ran down our spines. Leader nodded and told Tobi to help Deidara. Then, I couldn't help it, my curiosity overwhelmed me and I asked how Deidara knew all these things so well. He'd said that he was a favorite, but since he'd implied that there were more than just one favorite, I guessed that the leader wouldn't just let anyone get away with all the information that Deidara had. I made sure to voice that as well.

Deidara ducked his head and muttered, "Actually, I'd rather not say, yeah. I was personally close to the leader and I have thought about the facts that I'm still alive. I think it might have something to do with him using me for something, yeah."

Tobi seemed to agree with this, but that hadn't satisfied my curiosity. It had only fanned it so that it burned inside me and I really wanted to know what he had meant by "personally close". Not that I didn't have my suspicions, I just wanted to hear Deidara confirm them. But Leader _was_ satisfied with what he'd heard and dismissed us.

I left the room angrily, glaring at whatever I passed like I had a personal grudge against it, even though I probably didn't. I heard someone following me, but didn't pay attention to them. The things that were floating through my head took after the normal teen's thoughts: _this isn't_ _fair_. But they were accompanied by things like, _what other teenager has to put up with all this? Worrying about your ex-boyfriend training you for a gang war against a gang that's way too strong for your wimpy gang? Worrying about dying because your leader tells you to fight with them in the said gang war? Not many that I can think of…_

I wasn't looking forward to what was going to happen next. But for some reason, I took comfort in Zetsu and my friendship. I think it might have been because I knew we'd stick together for as long as we could. If he could forgive me for not listening to him yesterday.

* * *

Zetsu and I hadn't lived anywhere near each other when we were little. We lived in different neighborhoods and didn't even know the other one existed. But when we went into preschool and were told to tell the class who we were, we noticed each other. I hadn't laughed while the other kids did when he stood up and both his sides had introduced themselves. I hadn't thought it was cool like some of the other guys did. I didn't think it was sad like some of the girls who talked about him during snack time. I thought he was perfectly normal. So, when no one else had dared to go sit by him during all the activities, I'd stood up and went over to him.

He thought that I was crazy. I could tell by the look on his face. He also let it be known when his Black side had thought that I was mocking him and he'd shifted. Instead of saying, "How'd you do that?" like the other kids had, I asked, "Why am I crazy?" Zetsu stared at me and then asked if I thought he was a freak. Being in preschool, you'd think that the first thing I would have said would be something along the lines of "Yeah, but I want to be your friend anyway." But Zetsu and I were a bit brighter than the other kids. So I said, "Nope. You look pretty normal to me."

He'd smiled. I felt glad that I'd made him happy.

To insure that he knew I wanted to be his friend, I made it a habit to sit by him during all the activities until we hit first grade. Then, we had assigned seats and we were placed on opposite sides of the room. It didn't bother us though. We had a link of "acquaintances" that we'd made in a specific order around the classroom so that we had a line of kids that passed notes from me to Zetsu and vise versa. We continued doing this through every year that we had the same class.

I never quite understood how we went from being just friends to best friends in the second grade. It just happened. It was his birthday and I wrote him a card and signed it "your best friend". We didn't really think we were anything but friends up until I did that and we decided that it fit. So we were officially best friends.

It was odd, but we'd never considered dating each other until sixth grade when a few girls sitting at the table behind us at lunch started spreading rumors about us. At first, we'd scoffed at the rumors, waving them away as though they held no significance whatsoever. But then, they began to get to us and we started wondering what it would be like to date each other. We didn't do anything about it until I was invited into the Akatsuki (and I joined, just so you know). Zetsu screwed up in some way that I am still contemplating over, Leader got mad and I was assigned the task of setting my friend straight. I didn't think it was going to be fun. But, you know what? It was this assignment that got me and Zetsu dating.

We dated up until the middle of seventh grade. I guess I saw it coming: Leader was getting mad at me (I swear, the only reason he hasn't kicked me out yet is because he likes Zetsu and if I go, so will he. Then, I can't come up with a reason for why he kept me in), I decided that I only liked Zetsu as a friend, and the SAT tests were coming up – all of it made me really stressed. I took it all out on Zetsu. I didn't really think about it, I just did it. He had stared at me for awhile and then smiled. He applauded me! I was shocked to say the least.

Leader had been proud that I'd managed to hurt Zetsu; Zetsu hadn't been mad at me; and I'd aced the SAT tests. I enjoyed that summer. Zetsu joined the gang and the Akatsuki went into only one gang war that year and we'd won. Zetsu and I had gotten lucky and only had a few scars on our arms and stomachs. Kakuzu hadn't been as lucky. He had gotten shot twice in his right arm and his face had been scarred – the reasons of the scars have been kept from everyone but Hidan. Overall, I thought that we had done reasonably well considering we had been outnumbered by several hundred people.

* * *

Now thinking back on all of that, I decided that my life had been way better without the confusion that Deidara had brought with him. When did he gain the right to make me feel so empty without him? When did he gain the right to take my power that I had had before he'd so cruelly dumped me? I couldn't imagine what I'd said or done to make him think that he could do either of these things. But as I walked down the hall toward my locker, he was following me, making the few remaining kids silence themselves as he passed. It was so frustrating.

"Master Sasori?" he finally piped up, his voice quiet and hauntingly empty. "Can I talk to you for a sec, yeah?"

I spun around, furious. "I thought you would have decided that you've said everything that you thought needed to be said already! What more could you possibly say to me to make me feel worse? I thought that I wasn't worth your time anyway! And who said you could continue calling me by that stupid nickname?!"

Deidara stared at me blankly, somehow making his face seem something like a liar's innocence. "I guess I have said everything I could to make you feel bad, yeah. But I don't want to do it again."

"So what do you want to say? Want to try and apologize? Save your breath, because I'm not going to listen," I told him. I didn't want to hear what he had to say; didn't want to hear him try to come up with stupid excuses for why he had said what he had; I barely wanted to see him at the moment. "You've made me waste enough time listening to your voice awhile ago. And while the information you had might help us, I don't want to listen to you any more."

He continued to stare with that blank innocence. "While I think it's wrong to jump to conclusions like that, I guess I can't bother you anymore than I already have, yeah. You're right about what I was going to say. So now, I won't say it, yeah."

I almost felt sorry for him. But I didn't. I couldn't really find it in me at that moment to forgive him or feel sorry for him. So I just walked away from him.

_I wish it was for the last time, but I'll be doing a lot of walking away now._

* * *

_**A/N: Ah…the pitiful words of angst. I love it.**_

_** I must point something out; it's a heroic event for me, I'll have you know! This happens to be the longest Sasori chapter I have written in the history of this story so told by my pathetic memory! Like I said, a historical event in this story. (Actually, I said heroic the first time, but who keeps track of these things?) Yep, yep. AND I have added two pluses to this chapter: 1) I finally got Sasori's past in; and 2) this story marks the fact that this story will make it past chapter 17.**_

_** Well, now that I have marked this chapter and date, I would like to kindly remind you to please review. Much appreciated. Keeps the story going, you know.**_


	17. 17: Zetsu

**Disclaimer: That word it starting to look strange...I don't own Naruto.**

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**17: Zetsu**

I couldn't figure it out. I was so happy because I was with Tobi, but at the same time, I was miserable because Sasori wasn't happy. And on top of all that – I hate it when I have so many things going on at once – Leader was trying to get things together for the gang war that he was insisting must happen because The Guardian have been bugging us for awhile anyway. It was so overwhelming – like most moments of my life. But I'd learned a long time ago that I shouldn't let it all get to me at once. Normally, I'd go to Sasori for help, but I decided that it might cause even more problems, and wanted to try solving them for myself.

When I got home that evening, I went straight to my room, threw my backpack on the floor and sat on my bed. I pulled out my iPod, pushed play and closed my eyes. Slowly, I sifted through all my problems and pushed them all away. Then my mind's hand picked up one problem and placed it in front of me. Sasori and Deidara. It happened to be the hardest problem to get through – partly because it wasn't mine – but it was also the most important. I got through three songs before I decided that I couldn't solve that one. They screwed themselves up and I couldn't fix it for them.

So I moved onto the next one. Deidara's training. It was pure torture; even as I sat on my bed, completely relaxed, every muscle in my body ached. He had us all attacking him at once and he could fling almost all of us off in the second we touched him. It was really annoying, because then he told us to be creative in our attacks and by sunset, Leader, Sasori and Itachi had managed to hit him once. The rest of us all collapsed on the ground groaning. And this was only the first day.

As I thought about it, my muscles began to throb, so I quickly picked up a different problem. This one was Leader's plans to ask The Guardian to a gang war. He was taking Deidara's advice and was going to personally ask the leader of that gang. I say it's dangerous, but I won't say that aloud. Besides, it wouldn't help anything. I'm already one of the people Leader chose to go with him. I was really unhappy about that. There was no such thing as choice when Leader told you to do something, though.

I didn't know why I considered this to be a problem. I mean, problems usually consist of questions that you can answer and solve. But this didn't have a question, and definitely had no answer. I was stuck going, I couldn't stop Leader from going, and – this one was a killer for me – Tobi wasn't coming. Neither was Deidara for that matter. I didn't believe the blonde's excuse about how it would be bad if the leader saw them. Deidara just didn't want to go. But I was happy that Tobi agreed to the excuse because I didn't want him to get hurt.

Instead, though, Hidan, Kakuzu, and Itachi were coming. I almost laughed. I swear, it was like Leader thought he could scare The Guardian into a gang war with us. Still, I felt almost scared to go see the leader. Deidara knowing him "personally" didn't really make me feel any better about going.

The last problem I had was my feelings. I hated thinking about them because I always confused myself. But this seemed pretty crucial. I wanted to be happy with Tobi – because his friend was just as upset as my friend – but, then I wasn't very happy because Sasori wasn't happy. It was like a big love/hate triangle thing. After what felt like hours of sitting and thinking, I finally came to the conclusion that I could be happy and then feel sorry. Not at the same time because then my head would start to hurt. It was the best I could come up with and I was suddenly really aware that I couldn't please everyone like I had always hoped.

After sitting for so long, my ass started to hurt and I was hungry. So, I got up and went in search of food.

* * *

When Sasori and I became friends, it confused me. I was really embarrassed when the teacher asked everyone to introduce themselves. When it came to me, I started with just my white side. I thought I could get away with it, be normal like everyone else. But I had heard the other kids whispering about why my body was painted in two different colors and when my white side was done, my black side came out. I had felt horribly depressed. Because I had shifted, I thought that my chances of being normal were over. Then Sasori came over to me and said I looked normal to him. It was a start, but I felt better. Someone liked me and didn't think I was weird!

We were really good friends until my seventh birthday when Sasori signed a birthday card with "your best friend". I was ecstatic. I don't think that he knew that, but I was. He had been my first real friend and then he was my first best friend. My black side actually predicted after that, that it would probably lead to other things, but I had ignored him.

He was right though. In sixth grade, Sasori and I started dating. It wasn't anything special; it was just to see what it was like and to see if we had "a connection". I didn't really think about my black side's earlier prediction, I just went with it. Sasori had been a marshmallow through most of our lives and it kind of bothered me. When Leader had invited him into the gang, I couldn't figure out why at first. Then, I realized it was because during that summer – Leader lived nearby – Sasori had gotten mad at someone because they were making fun of me and he'd beat him up. I figured that Leader had seen it and thought that Sasori was gang material. I had been tempted to point out that Sasori had felt bad about it later, but kept my mouth shut because Sasori seemed happy.

When we went into seventh grade, Sasori's parents handed him over to his grandma to take care of. We didn't know why and his grandma hadn't said anything about it. Then, Sasori took interest in the puppets that had intrigued him for most of his life. He spent what little time he had after school making puppets and hanging them in his room. Whenever I went over to his house, when I went into his room to see him, I literally had to move puppets aside so that I could get into his room.

I was getting mad at him because he seemed so depressed. I couldn't really talk to him because I could tell that he wasn't listening. I had told him several times that he had enough puppets and he should do something else with his life, but he responded by making three more puppets and finding a space for them.

By the middle of seventh grade, the stress was building up for Sasori. He'd never admit it, but it was partly because of his depression. I only knew of two other reasons because they were the reasons that I was getting stressed. He didn't like me as anything besides a friend and the SAT tests were coming up fast. I hadn't said anything to him about either of these things. I was really hoping that if he exploded, it would help him. So when Sasori blew up on me and dumped me, I applauded him. He was back to normal – well, as normal as he could be.

After that, all the stress melted away and everything was fine for him. He got rid of most of his puppets over the summer, selling them – and let me tell you, he got a lot of money out of them – and the ones he didn't want to sell, he put in a box that he shoved into his closet.

* * *

He kept one close; it was one that he told me he made because of how grateful he was for his family and friends while he was depressed. If I can remember correctly, that was the puppet that Deidara had thrown on the ground when he broke up with Sasori. But maybe I was imagining things; they might have been similar.

When I went back up to my room, I took off my headphones and threw them on my bed. It was midnight, but I wasn't tired yet. My parents weren't home yet either. I figured they went out and would be home when I woke up at noon tomorrow. I went to my closet and started digging through all of the clothes and things that I had shoved in there over the years. Eventually, in the middle of the third pile, I found the puppet that Sasori had made for me in the eighth grade. By that time, it was two in the morning. (Yeah, that just tells you how much stuff I had in there.) I put the puppet on my bedside table, put my iPod on my desk and went to bed.

* * *

The next morning was not kind. I woke up at eight to my drunken parents scream-singing. Now matter what I did to drown out the noise, I could hear them through it all. I decided that even if I could block out their stupid songs, I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. So, I dragged myself out of bed, got dressed and shoved my phone into my front pocket and my wallet in my back pocket. When I went downstairs to get a quick breakfast, my parents attacked me with their over-happy selves.

"Sing with us!" my mom cried.

"It's fun!" my dad agreed.

I shook my head, grabbed an apple and, as I inched toward the door, I said, "No thanks. I've got places to be." Then I ran outside. I didn't have anywhere to be. I didn't even know where to go. But I didn't want to be at home with my drunken parents. It didn't sound fun. I pulled out my wallet and checked to see how much money I had, then put it back into my pocket and went to the comics store in town. Since I didn't have a car yet, I either had to steal rides from my friends, ride my bike everywhere or walk. I decided that I needed the exercise and walked.

When I stepped into the store, Tobi called and asked if I could stop by his house for awhile. I sighed, turned around and started walking to his house.

_This is going to be a very long day…_

* * *

_**A/N: This was the killer chapter. Man, I thought I was going to die. I hate it when I've got things planned for later and then I have to add chapters to the ones that I want to write. (Did that make sense? I hope so…) Zetsu's chapter happens to be one of those horrid chapters that I have to write before the good ones. But I did it! I did it! -"dance, monkey, dance!"- (Don't ask...)**_

_**I know that a lot of you must be wondering at this point: "what grade are they in?" Well, I'll tell you. I figured that if Deidara and "Mystery Man" got together in eighth grade, then they broke up in at least the middle of ninth or tenth grade. Then Deidara moved. In the beginning of the story, it wasn't the first day of school, and it would take a few months to get settled in a home. It would be pointless to go into school a few weeks before school ends (trust me, I know). So, by the time Deidara gets into school, it'd be the third year in high school – or eleventh grade. Therefore, they are all in the 11**__**th**__** grade. **_

_**Big process, I know. Well, now that you know, please review. (lol)**_


	18. 18: Deidara

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN NARUTO! WHY DO I HAVE TO WRITE THIS OVER AND OVER?!**

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**18: Deidara**

I stared at the ceiling in the living room quietly. I wasn't thinking, sleeping, and I'm pretty sure I was barely breathing. But with a cup of tea nearby and a pillow under my head, I was relaxed. Another Saturday being wasted away.

The house was empty except for me and my fat cat, Neko. _**(A/N: Translation: Neko means Cat in Japanese.) **_Ino was at her friend, Sakura's house and my parents were both busy. My mom was working overtime at the hospital again and my dad was in his office in town "researching" for his new book. Tobi had Zetsu over because he wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before Zetsu had to go to Kohana with Leader. And I wasn't on speaking terms with Sasori anymore – I'd given up. So, I had nowhere to be.

I was fully intending to spend the day doing absolutely nothing but eating and laying on the couch. I figured I might relocate to my bedroom if Ino and Sakura came home, but other than that, I had my day planned. I found out that if I didn't think about anything, then I didn't have to feel guilty about anything – well, in that case, I didn't have to feel at all because any feeling seemed to force its way back to guilt. I was an emotionless lump on the couch today.

The day crawled on until noon when Ino and Sakura came home, just like I thought. At first, I didn't quite feel like I had any energy, so I didn't get up. This was a bad move, because Ino came over to the couch and loomed over me.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

I stared at her for a minute before I said, "Nothing."

"For once, I believe you," she told me, looking around at the three mugs that I had emptied and never bothered to put in the dishwasher; the plate that had a quarter of a sandwich on it that I hadn't bothered to take care of either; the comic books that I had collected from upstairs this morning, read through, dumped on the floor next to the couch and slipped on every time I got up. "Why are you doing nothing?"

"Because I don't have anything to do, yeah," I sighed, turning over and burying my face in the cushions of the couch. I had found three different designs on the pillows so far and was working on my fourth.

Ino was so quiet; I thought she might have gone away. But then she said, "You have something to do."

"Yeah?" I muttered into the couch, not even bothering to look at her.

"Yeah; you should be talking to Sasori right now," she informed me.

I twisted around so fast, I thought I might have dislocated my waist – if that was possible. "What?!"

Ino stared at me calmly for a moment before she decidedly said, "If you cared anything about him, you'd be apologizing to him; telling him how you feel; all that good stuff that people with a broken relationship should do."

"When did you become a therapist, yeah?" I asked her, turning back to the pillows and finding another pattern. "I've already tried to apologize. He doesn't want to hear it, yeah."

"So you give up?"

"What do you know, yeah?"

"I know that usually, if you guilt a person enough, they'll go confront the problem."

I turned over again and looked at her skeptically. "Did you get that off of a therapist brochure, yeah?"

Ino scrunched her nose up and said, "Maybe. But it's right. You totally feel guilty already about what you've done to Sasori. If I guilt you a little more, I'm sure you'll go talk to him."

I sat up and cried, "I told you, he doesn't want to listen to me, yeah!" Then I attempted to stand and storm off, but the comic book beneath my socked foot, slid and I fell. It took a few minutes, but I managed to crawl around the coffee table, stand up and finally storm off.

My room brought no comfort. Ino had succeeded in making me feel miserable. I had looked up Sasori's number awhile after our first date, so I had it on hand if I really wanted to talk to him. But not only did I believe that he didn't want to talk to me, I didn't know what to say. I stayed miserable all day because I had nothing to do and nowhere to go.

* * *

On Monday, Leader, Zetsu, Hidan, Kakuzu and Itachi left to go see the leader of The Guardian. I was getting even more depressed because of the war that I knew was coming up. I knew that the gang I was in was as strong as it was going to get and there wasn't anything more I could do. Sasori wasn't talking to me – in fact, I'd be lucky if he'd even _look_ at me. Suddenly, I remembered the other reason why I hadn't wanted to join another gang: It was way too stressful.

I had talked to Tobi on Sunday night and he had suggested some ways to get Sasori back. However, none of them seemed like anything I could do. All I could do was sit back and wait for my chance to prove to him that I did like him – even though I had been a jack-ass; even though he had kissed Zetsu (he said he had an excuse for that and if the excuse was good enough, I was willing to forgive him); and even though a gang war was coming up.

It felt like just another day in my repetitive life.

* * *

The day came way too fast. The leader of The Guardian had decided to accept the "invitation" for the gang war. He hadn't said when the war was going to happen, so every member of the gang was on their toes in anticipation. When The Guardian invaded, it was actually a surprise. They didn't jump us while we were at school; they hit Tobi and Zetsu when they were on their way home _from _school. So we met them at the park that night. I didn't know about Tobi, but this felt like déjà vu to me.

_I'm about to break the circle…_

* * *

_**A/N: -evil laugh- Yes, the long awaited chapter is coming! Are you wondering who was waiting for this chapter? Well, me, of course! **_**I've**_** been waiting for the chapter! This chapter, well, it just sucked. If I'm wrong, correct me, please. And while you're at it, please review.**_


	19. 19: General

**Disclaimer: Damn it, I don't own Naruto!**

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**19: General**

The first thing the Akatsuki saw when they got to the park was that they were outnumbered. Pein tried to count the people but lost track at thirty. Tobi was frozen to the spot and Deidara looked like he might be panicking.

"Well, well. Didn't think I'd ever see your pretty face again, Deidara, " someone in the giant crowd said. A minute later, a teen with silver hair stepped out. He had one eye covered with a bandana and he wore a mask that covered the bottom part of his face.

Deidara stared at the teen for a moment before he calmly said, "I hate you, yeah."

"Okay, I've been dying to see you again and all you can come up with is 'I hate you'? You haven't changed much." He stepped forward and cupped Deidara's face in one of his gloved hands. "_I've_ missed _you_."

The blonde glared at him and said, "No, I didn't 'come up' with it, yeah. I've wanted to say that to you since we broke up, Kakashi. You wrecked my life, yeah." He slapped his hand and twisted away from him.

The Akatsuki were stunned. This is what he had meant when he had said that he had been 'personally close' to the leader? Kakashi stepped up to Deidara again and whispered, "Are you sure that I wrecked it? Are you sure that you didn't ruin it yourself? Everything you've done so far…Is my fault? How is that?"

Deidara's face looked horrified for a minute and then he screamed, "You watched! You didn't kill me because you wanted to see me screw up, yeah. You wanted to see me mess up. And the only reason I did was because of what _you_ did, yeah!" He shoved Kakashi away and was ready to attack him, when Kakashi put his hands up and said, "Let the game begin then." And he melted into the crowd again.

"YOU BASTARD!" Deidara yelled after him, throwing himself into the crowd. At first, the rest of the Akatsuki just stood there for a minute, watching the opposing gang lunge at them. When common sense kicked in, they followed Deidara's lead and attacked.

The air was filled with screaming and gun shots and Tobi almost felt sick. It sounded just like the last gang war he was in and looked even worse. He was pushing his way through the crowd with viciousness that he'd forgotten he had and killing anyone who got in his way. He was looking for Zetsu and Deidara so he could help them, but it would be easier if he knew where to look.

Konan had never been in such chaos. She was killing randomly, but checking to make sure she wasn't killing someone she knew. She saw Pein a ways away and kept him in sight as she fought through the crowd. Her mind was away from the battle, though. She was kind of worried about Deidara; when Pein had told her about the leader of The Guardian and she had remembered what Deidara had said about being close to him, she became afraid of what would happen when the blonde saw him again. Konan noticed that she couldn't see Pein anymore and several gang members were advancing on her. Apparently, she had to keep her mind on the battle.

There was fighting everywhere – fist fights, gun fights, Zetsu was pretty sure that there was a fight somewhere in the crowd where someone had a dagger. Zetsu was afraid. He was in a gang with a wimpy nine more members and up against a gang that had at least twenty, if not more, members. He couldn't see Tobi anymore. He'd lost sight of him moments after they had started fighting. Zetsu knew better than to let his mind wander then, but he let himself worry a little as he fought through the crowd.

Hidan and Kakuzu fought side by side, briefly congratulating each other when they killed at least five members. They were noticing that they and their gang members were making a dent in the opposing gang and it motivated them to keep fighting.

"Man, they're not letting up, are they?" Kakuzu called over his shoulder to Hidan.

"Nope. But that's okay. I'm having a blast!" Hidan called back, grinning hugely.

A knife skimmed over Itachi's shoulder and he kicked the guy who had done it. He saw Kisame a few feet away from him and waved at him casually. Kisame returned the gesture and smiled. They were having fun fighting and thought that it was funny that their little gang were wiping out a much bigger gang like they were brushing a leaf off their shoulder. Itachi punched a guy so hard in the nose, not only did the guy have a bloody nose, he was knocked unconscious.

Sasori shot down two guys and was fighting with a third when he saw something out of the corner of his eye. Deidara and Kakashi were on the roof of the shed. He shoved the guy he was fighting with and turned to see what was going on. Others were doing the same and as he realized that the two teens were having a face-off, the crowd became still. Kakashi and Deidara were talking, but he couldn't hear what they were saying. Suddenly, Deidara threw himself at the silver-haired boy and knocked him off his feet. Sasori smiled. But Kakashi was back up in an instant and he kicked Deidara in the jaw before punching him in the stomach. The Guardian cheered.

"Kurinai was right! I thought she'd been lying. I mean, I didn't think you'd ever get weak. But you're proving me wrong!" Kakashi cried. Then he leaned over the side of the roof a little and called, "Sorry, Kurinai. You were right and I was wrong." Kurinai cheered and called something back up that made Kakashi laugh, but Sasori couldn't hear it.

Deidara looked so mad, Sasori thought he might explode. The blonde lunged at Kakashi, hitting his jaw and nose in the same hit. They both pulled guns and tried shooting each other. Deidara narrowly missed a few bullets while Kakashi just seemed to step out of the bullets' course with ease. When the blonde couldn't take it anymore, he got close enough to Kakashi to kick his gun out of his hand and he even threw his own gun over the side as well. The kick had obviously broken Kakashi's hand and he was trying to shake away the pain when Deidara flipped over him, took hold of his right arm and shoved his knee into his back. When he let go, Kakashi fell forward. Sasori and his friends all cheered. Some guy next to the redhead tried to hit him, but he punched him in the face without even giving him a glance.

"You made me a game, yeah. You criticized everything I did or said and I swear you never listened to me anyway!" Deidara yelled at Kakashi. "You messed me up, yeah! I never got the chance to pay you back for that. But I'm ready to give it to you now, yeah!" Kakashi stood up and tried to hit him, but the blonde raised his hand and caught the fist. "I'm not loosing to you this time."

Deidara kneed Kakashi in the stomach and twisted his arm in a way that everyone was sure the shoulder was dislocated, but there was no scream of agony. The Guardian yelled curses and "boos" at Deidara and most of the Akatsuki got so tired of it, they punched or kicked a few guys down to shut them up. When they looked back at the roof, the fight had turned again and Kakashi had the upper hand once more. He kicked Deidara under the chin and made him stumble. He threw a few punches at him; three out of five, Deidara dodged. The blonde was running out of breath and strength and Sasori was getting worried. Kakashi hit the blonde in the forehead and knocked Deidara backward. Cheers surrounded the Akatsuki as they worried about their friend.

"You just can't win. You can't do anything right, can you?" Kakashi mocked loud enough for everyone to hear. He wrapped his hand around Deidara's throat and lifted him up. "You can't win." He walked over to the edge of the roof and, still holding onto Deidara, he set the blonde down carefully. "I hope you came here ready to die…"

Deidara clawed at Kakashi's wrist as he rasped, "I came here ready to kill _you_, yeah!"

"Too bad," Kakashi said simply and let go.

Deidara grabbed Kakashi's wrist as he fell and called, "I'm not going down without taking you with me, yeah!" Sasori cried out and shoved his way through the crowd, desperate to try and do _something_. As the two teens fell, Deidara reached out, grabbed a branch of the tree nearby and let go of Kakashi. He brought his other hand up to get a better hold on the branch and a moment later, there was a sickening crunch as Kakashi landed. Deidara smiled almost sadly as he started to heave himself onto the branch.

There was a cry below him and a guy with bowl-cut black hair pulled a gun. Deidara looked down as the teen below him pulled the trigger and a bullet shot through his shoulder. He screamed and let go of the branch with one hand. Tobi threw himself at the teen and knocked him unconscious. The rest of the Akatsuki were practically panicking; Deidara was too high to just drop and with one injured arm, he couldn't climb down.

Deidara dropped onto the branch below him; almost loosing his balance, then turned and sat down. He smiled down at his friends, but he knew he was stuck. He'd managed to get that low, but his shoulder was gushing blood and it ached horribly. He watched the crowd below him meander around for a few minutes, wondering what to do now that their leader was dead. Deidara knew he had to get to the hospital, ask for his mom. But first, he needed to get out of the tree. If he sprained an ankle doing this, he wouldn't mind too much. He just really wanted the blood to stop pouring out of his shoulder.

Sasori held his breath as Deidara slipped off the branch and dropped to the ground. He landed on his feet, but gravity caught up with him and he teetered backward until he fell on his butt. Sasori sighed as Deidara started laughing.

"Not funny, punk. You fucking scared us all," Hidan told him angrily, Kakuzu holding him back.

"Sorry. The relief is killing me, yeah." Deidara had had his hand on his shoulder, but he took it off to reveal that most of the sleeve on his T-shirt was soaked in blood.

Tobi seemed like he might pass out; he swayed a little and held his head. Zetsu went over to him and held his hand, looking at Tobi's cracked mask. "You okay?" he whispered.

"Just some déjà vu," Tobi answered softly.

Pein snapped into action and a few minutes later, they were on their way to the hospital. Hidan and Kakuzu were messing around, talking to each other about the fight and playfully shoving each other. Neither of them had been seriously hurt and their friends guessed it had something to do with the fact that they probably hadn't let anyone near them long enough to _get_ hurt. Zetsu was still concerned about Tobi, and Tobi was walking like he was in a daze. Konan kept quiet as she walked with Pein, her mind playing out the events and reminding herself what she could do next time to prevent things. Itachi and Kisame hung back a little, holding each other's hands and glancing at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking. Sasori walked a little ahead of Deidara, a bit worried about his limp and just about the fact that he was hurt in general. But he still felt angry with the blonde, so he didn't want to say anything to him.

Deidara was staring ahead with a blank expression on his face. He was watching ahead to see if anyone was going to try and stop them or kill them to avenge their leader. He wasn't sure if either was going to happen, but his experience with The Guardian had taught him to stay on his toes at all times. Deidara was just about calm, almost convinced that nothing was going to happen, when he saw something in a bush diagonally across from his group. He noticed a flash of metal, guessed where it was directed and stepped in front of Sasori.

This ticked off Sasori. The redhead thought he was trying some controlling move or something and Sasori wasn't going to put up with it. He was just going to go ahead of Deidara, making some rude comment on the way, when he heard two gun shots and Deidara fell to his knees screaming. Sasori stopped and stared at Deidara for a moment, horrified. The rest of the group was starting to panic again. Deidara glanced up, gasping, and watched the bush rustle as a shadowy figure slipped away.

Sasori helped Deidara to his feet again, but then the blonde couldn't really walk because he was afraid he was either going to puke, pass out or both. So, Sasori took a deep breath and picked up Deidara bridal style.

_He is getting to the hospital one way or another._

* * *

_**A/N: Do you know how long I was planning this chapter? For about five months. And guess what? I forgot most of it in the moment that I started to write this chapter. I am so mad at myself. But, it turned out – overall – pretty good, considering I forgot most of the conversation and some of the fighting. In fact, at one point, I was considering taking off Tobi's mask…I didn't though. Still, I think this chapter's alright. The hardest part: If Kakashi could hold Deidara over the edge without falling, then when Deidara held onto his wrist, he would have been able to continue holding him there. So I had to figure out a way to get Kakashi to drop too. Other than that, this chapter was really easy. Hope you enjoyed it. **_

_**Oh yeah. And I have to apologize to you Kakashi fans. I didn't want to go with the crowd and make Orochimaru the bigger enemy. Kakashi's death will be remembered…By you fans because I don't care. And I finally put more on Konan in. She's been practically invisible throughout this whole story, so I hope you like. Please review.**_


	20. 20: Sasori

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!**

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**20: Sasori**

Deidara wasn't too heavy, but he wasn't light. I would have run to the hospital if I could have, but he weighed me down a little. Tobi seemed like he was on the verge of a breakdown, and he told me that he needed to go to the hospital with me to tell the secretary to get a certain doctor. I didn't ask. All I was concerned about was getting Deidara there, and then we could talk specifics. Deidara had let his head fall back off my shoulder (where Tobi had originally placed it) and hadn't flinched once since I had picked him up. I was concerned about that, but I didn't want to check his face in fear that I might run into something if I wasn't watching. (It had actually been known to happen to me.) When we got to the hospital, Tobi went straight to the front desk.

The woman there looked up when she saw him and asked, "Tobi?"  
Tobi nodded and said, "Hi, Shizune. Deidara needs Dr. Tsunade. Can you please get her? Tell Tobi she isn't busy."

Shizune stared at him for a minute, and then called up the doctor. "What happened?" she asked when she was done.

"Another gang war," Tobi answered, shaking his head. Shizune nodded as if she understood, and then stood up when a woman with blonde hair pulled back into two loose pigtails at the nape of her neck walked out. The woman had a diamond on her forehead and she looked irritable.

She glanced around, caught sight of Deidara and seemed to completely understand what happened without anyone telling her. I watched a few expressions cross her face – concern, fear, anger, and then back to her irritable look. "Bring him this way," she instructed me, gesturing me to follow. I did and so did Tobi. The others waited patiently in the waiting room, except Pein and Konan who went home.

* * *

After x-rays and surgery, Deidara was put in a room where I couldn't see him until Tsunade said I could. It wasn't fun. All I got to do was sit outside the room and wait with Tobi. After awhile, Tsunade went into the room and shut the door behind her. I was frustrated. Then I heard the screaming.

"When I saw you there, I was scared out of my mind! I thought you were dying and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to help you! What were you thinking? I thought you were done with gangs!" Tsunade yelled.

"I was…But then I heard they were going up against The Guardian and I didn't want them to go into a war unprepared, yeah! I wanted to help them, and I didn't mean to scare you," Deidara sounded really guilty. I was confused. I had thought he was all against joining our gang, but here he was saying he joined so he could help us.

There was a silence and then I heard Tsunade, her voice quieter now, say, "Is he dead?"

"Mm-hmm. I killed him, yeah." Deidara didn't sound guilty about that.

There was panic in her voice as Tsunade cried, "And what if you had died?! What would I do? Did you even think about that when you went in there?!"

"No. Mom, I just wanted to get rid of him, yeah. I was mad at him. He deserved it, yeah." I let my jaw drop when I heard him say "mom". _Is that why Tobi wanted Tsunade? Because he knew that?_

"And did Sasori deserve what he got?" I snapped my mouth shut.

Silence. "No. But I didn't think about that, yeah. He kissed someone else and it hurt. I didn't even consider how cruel I was being, yeah. I wasn't trying to be like Kakashi. I do feel horrible now, yeah."

I looked down the hall, feeling horrible. "Why'd you kiss him anyway?" Tobi asked from behind me.

I didn't look back at him as I said, "I don't know, he was freaked…"

"That's what Zetsu said too." Tobi's voice sounded far away and when I glanced at him, he was standing, staring at the wall in front of him with his hands in his pockets.

"Have you apologized?" Tsunade asked.

"I've tried, yeah! He doesn't seem like he wants to hear it. I'm sure I'm the last one he wants to hear from, yeah." As he said that, Tsunade opened the door and beckoned for me to come in.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yep. He yelled at me when I tried, yeah," Deidara said bitterly. He was lying on the bed, one hand behind his head and the other at his side. He didn't have a shirt on so I could see the bandages that were wrapped around his shoulder.

"I'm sorry for doing that," I told him and watched him sit bolt right up, rubbing his shoulder as he regretted that. "I was upset because of what you said to me. I should have taken a minute to listen." He stared at me incredulously. "I'm also sorry for kissing Zetsu. I don't know if Tobi or Zetsu said anything, but Tobi freaked out Zetsu and I was trying to help him calm down. I wasn't even thinking when I did it. I'm really sorry for that."

He continued to stare at me for another minute or so, almost making me squirm. "I'm sorry for saying what I did, yeah. I thought I didn't matter when I heard that you kissed him. And it felt like Kakashi all over again, yeah." Deidara paused, lowering his eye. "I panicked. I was scared and hurt, yeah. But I still didn't have any right to do that."

I realized at that point, that we'd been talking about this with both Tobi and Tsunade in the room and I felt my face flush. I walked over to Deidara's bed and leaned over him. "I'll forgive you if you forgive me."

He looked up at me and smiled. "Deal." And we kissed, ignoring Tsunade and Tobi as they cheered.

* * *

Deidara was under "house arrest" after that. Tsunade didn't want him doing anything stupid with his damaged shoulder, so his little sister, Ino, was assigned to keep an eye on him and make sure he was pretty much just a lump on the couch. He was bored out of his mind, and I tried to visit as much as possible between going to school, hanging out with my other friends, doing homework and spending some time with Gaara. A month later though, he got to leave the house and the first thing he did was climb a tree.

_He's trying to hurt himself, I know it._

* * *

_**A/N: Yeah not so sure that this is the end. I mean, it sounds like it, but I really wanted to get past chapter twenty. So…I'll think hard and see what I can come up with, alright? Sweetness. **_

_**And, is anyone besides me wondering how they keep getting away with this? Is anyone wondering why Tsunade wasn't worrying more about if Deidara was going to go to jail? Well, here's the deal: I didn't think about that when I started writing this chapter and I was too lazy to go back and fix it. There you go. Okay, tell me what you think please! **_


	21. 21: Zetsu

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... TT  
**

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**21: Zetsu**

**2 months later**

"Hi, Zetsu-kun!" Tobi cried, running over to me. I still wasn't used to hearing the new addition to my name; first it had been –san, and I had gotten used to that, now it was –kun. It sounded so weird after that. But it's not like I didn't like it, because I did. I turned away from my locker to greet him and almost got knocked over as he hugged me. I still wasn't used to that either.

"Hi, Tobi. What's up?" I asked him when he let go. He'd shown me his face once, before he got his mask replaced and sometimes, it was like the mask wasn't there anymore.

"Well, the sky's up. But, Tobi wanted to tell you that Deidara got four tickets to Fallout Boy and he gave Tobi two of them!" He pulled two tickets out of his backpack and showed them to me. "Will you please come with Tobi and Deidara and Sasori? Please, please, please, please?!"

I pretended to think while he stared at me. I really liked Fallout Boy, so I already knew the answer, I just liked to see Tobi freak out. "I guess so…"

"Yay!" Tobi yelled, jumping up and then hugging me again. "It's Friday, can you still go?"

"Yeah, I don't do anything on Fridays anymore unless it's something with you. And I'm pretty sure you know that," I told him pointedly and he nodded. I grabbed my backpack, closed my locker door and took Tobi's hand. "Ready to go then?"

"Please, do you think that Tobi would have come to your locker unprepared?" he asked me skeptically.

I stared at him with the same look that I was sure he was giving me. "You've been known to do it." He started a string of complaints and I playfully shoved him into the nearest wall of lockers. "Boy you're whiney."

Tobi shook his head and took my hand again. "Tobi knows."

* * *

When Friday came, Sasori came with it. He wanted to hang out with me for awhile before the concert and I was too desperate to see him to say no. It had been a few weeks since I had been able to hang out with him because he and Deidara had been working really hard on a school project. I wasn't going to pass this up. We hung out in the living room for about two hours and then raided my closet for outfits.

"When was the last time you cleaned out this black hole?" Sasori asked when he looked in my closet. "It looks exactly like it did when I visited three and a half months ago and you said you'd clean it."

I glanced at him skeptically. "And you believed me?"  
"No. But one can only hope." He stepped in and we started sifting and digging. An hour later, we left the closet with two black and red outfits and half an hour later we found several accessories as well. "Alright, now we're getting somewhere."

I looked at him with a smirk and said, "Let's see who can get dressed first before our boyfriends show up, deal?"

Sasori stared at me and smiled. "You're on. I'm so winning this one."

We finished dressing at the same time and reached the door at the same time too when the doorbell rang. "You were going to win, huh?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I was. But I had trouble with the watch…" Sasori told me as I opened the door. Tobi and Deidara stood on the porch wearing black as well. They had obviously been talking, but they stopped when they noticed us.

The first thing I got when Tobi saw me was a giant hug that almost knocked me off my feet. Deidara quietly stepped in and he and Sasori gave each other a small hug.

"When does it start anyway, yeah?" Deidara asked, pulling away and looking at Sasori.

"Not until nine, so we have a few hours to waste," Sasori said, taking the blonde's hand. "What should we do?"

Tobi raised his hand. "Clean Zetsu-kun's room. Tobi can't stand it."

"I can't either. I'm in. But we should be prepared; we don't know what we'll find in there," Sasori agreed, smirking. "What do you say, Zetsu?"

I scrunched my nose and smiled. "If you want to. You should wear gloves; I'm not sure what's under the bed."

Deidara looked at Sasori with an alarmed expression. "I have a feeling it's gunna be a lot like my room, yeah."

Sasori put his hands up and spread them out like he was smoothing a piece of paper. "Think…It's like your room, only five times worse." He put his hands down and winked at the blonde. "It's gunna take until eight-something for sure." Deidara calmed down a little, but I could tell he didn't like the mental picture. When we got to my room, he almost collapsed.

"You were right. It's like my room only _way_ worse, yeah!" he cried in despair.

"Let's get it over with," Sasori sighed, walking to my desk.

* * *

By eight-forty, the room was only half clean. "Looks like that's the best we're going to do. We have twenty minutes to get to the concert. Let's go," Sasori announced, going downstairs with Deidara on his tail.

Tobi took my hand, pulled his mask up a bit, slipped me a kiss, put his mask back down and dragged me downstairs. I smiled happily and allowed myself to be dragged. Things were awesome and I was enjoying them while they lasted.

_And I want them to last forever._

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_**A/N: It is the end. I couldn't extend it anymore and I made it past chapter twenty anyway. Besides, if I kept going, I would reveal more and I want to save more for the sequel. Hope you liked this story. The ending was weird, but I liked the rest. Well, please review. Thanks for being patient in waiting so long to get here. You are all awesome.**_

_Keep your eye out for the next story: Staying Strong._


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